Is YOURS! That's what my students learned yesterday at least, when I showed them the first episode of Captain Planet and the Planeteers. I mean, they're learning about the environment, so, right? This is how I learned about saving the earth, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them.
How can you beat lines like "By your powers combined...I am CAPTAIN PLANET!"? (And it's not gratingly redundant like Prince Adam aka He-Man's wail of "By the power of Greyskull...I have the POWER!" You already said power, doofus.) With the way Captain Planet acquired new superpowers, he coulda wailed on Superman in his prime...as long as Supes didn't have smog breath. And check out some of the heavy hitters they got to voice characters on the show: Sting, LeVar Burton, and Whoopi Goldberg! Talk about street cred.
But did my students appreciate it? Pfft, of course not. They had to go tearin' into it, raggin' on the Cap'n's little speedo + half-shirt number, his penchant for lame jokes, even his grass-green flat top-mullet. That was the HEIGHT of environmentally-friendly superhero fashion back in 1990, and if I know fashion, it'll be back soon enough. That kind of style is cyclical, dollface.
One cynic even busted out the million dollar question: "Did this change the way you lived at all?" Dude, I was five when this show came out. So, yes, it changed my life. I'm sure I was brainwashed in some way to appreciate powerful men with mullets and bikinis. That's what saving the environment is about, and when Al Gore realizes that, we'll really be on to something.
Oh, and just in case you fail to watch the episode I linked to, I have to point out that the show's first season ran the year before the Soviet Union fell. When asked by the stupid fire kid from the Bronx if she's Russian, Linka (the wind chick) angrily clarifies: "No. Soviet! Now go avay!" Just the icing on the cake.
Oops, almost forgot! I just found a German version of the intro and, most importantly, the outro (which was arguably the most famous part of the show: the positively classic theme music). Eat it up, world.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
A Little Taste Of Home
Robert and I went to a place called American Diner for dinner tonight. Robert is a friend from the frisbee team -- he started playing about the same time I did, and he's good people. He had recommended this diner a while back and, being a real American (hero, GI Joe is theeeeere....if you didn't sing along with that, you're not a child of the '80s.), I figured I should investigate. We finally made it this evening, and the good news is, it's halfway decent.
We sat outside because the weather was so nice, but before leaving I glanced inside. It's got the right touches from what I could see: the proper shiny, silver lining on everything, the distinctive worn, red pleather (or whatever it's made of) booths, and even a jukebox. You'd feel comfortable ordering a malt in there. And they menu hits the proper highs: chicken wings, spare ribs, and a varied selection of specialty burgers, including a Double Header and a Triple Header if you really covet that American waistline. Oh, and lest I forget, they have different All You Can Eat specials throughout the week, for prices that are basically the same as the single servings. They've been doing their homework, yes indeed.
My choice was clear (since there were no All You Can Eat specials on Sundays): the BBQ Burger, with their special home made BBQ sauce. I'm constantly lamenting the lack of proper (or, uh, any) BBQ sauce in Germany, so when I see it I have to try it. Good news: this stuff was passable (I positively gush with praise, don't I? I should work on that). The burger and sauce were quite good, especially since it's been so long since I've had the real stuff. The burgers even come with a little American flag on a toothpick stuck in them. How's that for a finishing touch?
The fries were tasty, too, but I'm not a huge fry guy and there were too many, so Robert finished off mine once he cleaned his plate. As if that wasn't enough to make me doubt my citizenship, there was more. The burgers are pretty big already, but in fact the average-sized couple at the table next to us really pulled out the stops. The guy polished off a Triple Header and even his girlfriend made short work of a Double Header, including all of the fries for both of them. I expected them to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and then give me a wedgie. Sorry, folks: I let you down.
Other than forcing me to question my American manhood, it was a fun time. The place isn't quite Fuddruckers, but it's one of the best approximations I've seen over here.
Oh, and the demonstration last Wednesday went well, so in case anybody was still wondering, I survived. There was a great turnout, especially for such short notice, and the weather cooperated -- my face even got a tiny bit sunburned. I was one of 20 people involved who had to hold back on the "protesting" aspect and just make sure nothing got out of hand, since this was an organized protest. I had a bright orange vest along with the swell of self-righteousness that a small amount of undeserved power brings.
I'm not sure what will happen with this school situation, but I'll keep ya posted if anything interesting happens.
We sat outside because the weather was so nice, but before leaving I glanced inside. It's got the right touches from what I could see: the proper shiny, silver lining on everything, the distinctive worn, red pleather (or whatever it's made of) booths, and even a jukebox. You'd feel comfortable ordering a malt in there. And they menu hits the proper highs: chicken wings, spare ribs, and a varied selection of specialty burgers, including a Double Header and a Triple Header if you really covet that American waistline. Oh, and lest I forget, they have different All You Can Eat specials throughout the week, for prices that are basically the same as the single servings. They've been doing their homework, yes indeed.
My choice was clear (since there were no All You Can Eat specials on Sundays): the BBQ Burger, with their special home made BBQ sauce. I'm constantly lamenting the lack of proper (or, uh, any) BBQ sauce in Germany, so when I see it I have to try it. Good news: this stuff was passable (I positively gush with praise, don't I? I should work on that). The burger and sauce were quite good, especially since it's been so long since I've had the real stuff. The burgers even come with a little American flag on a toothpick stuck in them. How's that for a finishing touch?
The fries were tasty, too, but I'm not a huge fry guy and there were too many, so Robert finished off mine once he cleaned his plate. As if that wasn't enough to make me doubt my citizenship, there was more. The burgers are pretty big already, but in fact the average-sized couple at the table next to us really pulled out the stops. The guy polished off a Triple Header and even his girlfriend made short work of a Double Header, including all of the fries for both of them. I expected them to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and then give me a wedgie. Sorry, folks: I let you down.
Other than forcing me to question my American manhood, it was a fun time. The place isn't quite Fuddruckers, but it's one of the best approximations I've seen over here.
Oh, and the demonstration last Wednesday went well, so in case anybody was still wondering, I survived. There was a great turnout, especially for such short notice, and the weather cooperated -- my face even got a tiny bit sunburned. I was one of 20 people involved who had to hold back on the "protesting" aspect and just make sure nothing got out of hand, since this was an organized protest. I had a bright orange vest along with the swell of self-righteousness that a small amount of undeserved power brings.
I'm not sure what will happen with this school situation, but I'll keep ya posted if anything interesting happens.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
We're Here, We're Queer, We Don't Want Any More Bears!
If I hold up a sign tomorrow with that slogan on it, do you think the Germans will get the Simpsons reference? Probably not, and then they'll be torn over the message -- "'Queer'? 'bears'? well wait just a minute here." In fact Germans seem to want more polar bears but fewer brown bears. Maybe they just want their bears carefully stored in zoos. Pfft. Ask Poland how bears should be handled: they should have open air enclosures by the side of busy streets in the middle of a city like Warsaw with only a waterless moat separating them from sweet, sweet human flesh. Yes, that exists.
Either way, that's not my point. My point is I'm going to be demonstrating tomorrow with my school, and I'm excited to wave signs around, assuming they give me a sign (they'd be crazy not to -- I bet if I hold up a sign they'll see it from the International Space Station).
The issue, essentially, is this: my school, the Gutenberg Gymnasium, goes from grade 5 to grade 13. Gymnasium is the highest level of school in the German school system for those grades -- it's college track, whereas the other two types are not. As such, most parents want their kids to go to gymnasium, and they're allowed to send their kids to gymnasium if they choose, regardless of any recommendations to the contrary.
Therein lies one problem: the Gutenberg Gymnasium, for example, is designed to take on four new classes each year. For some years now, though I don't know how many years, the school has been over capacity with between five and six new classes coming in each year. I think in return for taking this overflow, my school got a new sport hall (I'd say "gymnasium" but that would get confusing with the name of the school, so I'll stick to the literal German translation) and a sort of auditorium.
Nevertheless, it's easy to see that the school is too full. There aren't enough classrooms, so other rooms not intended for classes have been invaded to make up the difference, and let me tell you, 33 kids in a small room is not ideal.
And now it turns out that -- surprise, surprise -- there is another huge jump in numbers coming. Has the city been preparing by (a) building a new gymnasium, (b) expanding the existing schools, or (c) seeing how far they can spit watermelon seeds? If you picked (a) or (b) then you've never heard of a lumbering mess commonly referred to as "a bureaucracy" (and if you picked (c), I appreciate your cynicism but can't verify it...yet).
So the solution, once again, is to add more classes, particularly to the Gutenberg Gymnasium and one other school. My school is expected to handle seven classes for the next two years, and in return will get some extra classrooms built, or whatever is being vaguely promised. Naturally the teachers, students, and parents are up in arms over this. The most aggravating parts of the deal are that the plan was formed and is close to moving ahead without taking into consideration the voices of the teachers, students, or parents; and that there is still no real plan for the future, meaning there's no way of knowing for sure if this will end after two years. Also, the three directors at the school, who get the only votes for the entire school, said they'll no matter what the teachers, students, and parents think, they'll vote Yes to the plan to have seven classes in return for some additions to the school.
Being the cool-headed negotiator that I am, I suggested a strike. This doesn't affect me, but I'd be so excited to be part of a strike anyway. But that's not allowed: German teachers are state workers, which means that in return for jobs-for-life and good benefits, they don't get any say in what happens. So instead, as I mentioned ages ago at the beginning of this long-winded post, we're demonstrating tomorrow afternoon.
When I was in Freiburg in 2005, I saw but missed out on participating in university student protests against the introduction of tuition. I am not missing out on this protest. I hope I don't get whomped by riot police.
Either way, that's not my point. My point is I'm going to be demonstrating tomorrow with my school, and I'm excited to wave signs around, assuming they give me a sign (they'd be crazy not to -- I bet if I hold up a sign they'll see it from the International Space Station).
The issue, essentially, is this: my school, the Gutenberg Gymnasium, goes from grade 5 to grade 13. Gymnasium is the highest level of school in the German school system for those grades -- it's college track, whereas the other two types are not. As such, most parents want their kids to go to gymnasium, and they're allowed to send their kids to gymnasium if they choose, regardless of any recommendations to the contrary.
Therein lies one problem: the Gutenberg Gymnasium, for example, is designed to take on four new classes each year. For some years now, though I don't know how many years, the school has been over capacity with between five and six new classes coming in each year. I think in return for taking this overflow, my school got a new sport hall (I'd say "gymnasium" but that would get confusing with the name of the school, so I'll stick to the literal German translation) and a sort of auditorium.
Nevertheless, it's easy to see that the school is too full. There aren't enough classrooms, so other rooms not intended for classes have been invaded to make up the difference, and let me tell you, 33 kids in a small room is not ideal.
And now it turns out that -- surprise, surprise -- there is another huge jump in numbers coming. Has the city been preparing by (a) building a new gymnasium, (b) expanding the existing schools, or (c) seeing how far they can spit watermelon seeds? If you picked (a) or (b) then you've never heard of a lumbering mess commonly referred to as "a bureaucracy" (and if you picked (c), I appreciate your cynicism but can't verify it...yet).
So the solution, once again, is to add more classes, particularly to the Gutenberg Gymnasium and one other school. My school is expected to handle seven classes for the next two years, and in return will get some extra classrooms built, or whatever is being vaguely promised. Naturally the teachers, students, and parents are up in arms over this. The most aggravating parts of the deal are that the plan was formed and is close to moving ahead without taking into consideration the voices of the teachers, students, or parents; and that there is still no real plan for the future, meaning there's no way of knowing for sure if this will end after two years. Also, the three directors at the school, who get the only votes for the entire school, said they'll no matter what the teachers, students, and parents think, they'll vote Yes to the plan to have seven classes in return for some additions to the school.
Being the cool-headed negotiator that I am, I suggested a strike. This doesn't affect me, but I'd be so excited to be part of a strike anyway. But that's not allowed: German teachers are state workers, which means that in return for jobs-for-life and good benefits, they don't get any say in what happens. So instead, as I mentioned ages ago at the beginning of this long-winded post, we're demonstrating tomorrow afternoon.
When I was in Freiburg in 2005, I saw but missed out on participating in university student protests against the introduction of tuition. I am not missing out on this protest. I hope I don't get whomped by riot police.
Monday, April 21, 2008
TWO Organs!
That's not the set-up or the punchline to a terrible joke. Actually, that's probably a lie -- somewhere in this world, I have to imagine there's at least one joke involving the exclamation "TWO organs!" But I promise I don't know that joke, and neither is this my attempt at creating a new joke. In fact, two organs is something I experienced on Sunday. Um...okay, it still sounds bad. I'd better just get on with it quickly and try to ignore the numerous puns.
The Mainz College of Music is moving onto the campus of the University of Mainz and they're getting a new organ as part of the deal. They donated their current organ to the Altmuenster church in Mainz, which already had an organ, but a very small one. This donated one is much bigger and nicer, so they moved the old one next to the altar and the donated one is now up above.
On Sunday the church had some special masses to celebrate the advent of two organs; they had a choir and people to play each organ. My supervising teacher, Bettina, and her husband, Gernot, were singing in the choir, which is how I found out about the whole thing. It was a really interesting experience, especially when they did a song that was specifically written for two organs. I'm not sure why you'd ever write a piece of music like that, but then again at the Fulbright conference in Berlin I also saw a guy perform a sweet tuba solo, so I'll just roll with it.
So although I had to go to church for it, it was worth it for some beautiful music and an unusual story. There was even champagne afterwards.
Oh no...I know I promised I wouldn't, but I'm weak. It's just got too much potential for me to not even try:
What's worse than church wine and an organ?
Church champagne and TWO organs!
Sorry you had to witness that. At least we now know for sure there's a joke somewhere in this world involving the exclamation "TWO organs!"
Let this post be ended, and go in peace.
The Mainz College of Music is moving onto the campus of the University of Mainz and they're getting a new organ as part of the deal. They donated their current organ to the Altmuenster church in Mainz, which already had an organ, but a very small one. This donated one is much bigger and nicer, so they moved the old one next to the altar and the donated one is now up above.
On Sunday the church had some special masses to celebrate the advent of two organs; they had a choir and people to play each organ. My supervising teacher, Bettina, and her husband, Gernot, were singing in the choir, which is how I found out about the whole thing. It was a really interesting experience, especially when they did a song that was specifically written for two organs. I'm not sure why you'd ever write a piece of music like that, but then again at the Fulbright conference in Berlin I also saw a guy perform a sweet tuba solo, so I'll just roll with it.
So although I had to go to church for it, it was worth it for some beautiful music and an unusual story. There was even champagne afterwards.
Oh no...I know I promised I wouldn't, but I'm weak. It's just got too much potential for me to not even try:
What's worse than church wine and an organ?
Church champagne and TWO organs!
Sorry you had to witness that. At least we now know for sure there's a joke somewhere in this world involving the exclamation "TWO organs!"
Let this post be ended, and go in peace.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Mainz 05
Mainz 05 is the Mainz soccer team. The 05 stands for 1905, the year they were founded. My friend Flo (link goes to his sport- and surfwear company, No Quality) has gotten me into three of their games so far, including today's. The last time I went, he gave me his normal ticket because he had VIP access. After the game he yanked off his VIP bracelet, and with the aid of some product resembling Post-It Notes, we managed to secure it to my wrist. Secure might not be the right word, since I was afraid to swing that arm when I walked, fearing that the slightest breeze would upset the delicate balance of our scam. Nevertheless, I passed the tight security detail of two women glancing at my bright pink mock-up.
Once inside I let myself relax a little, but I still had to keep adjusting the bracelet so it wouldn't fall off and expose me. If you're wondering at this point what the trouble was worth, VIP means free alcohol and food. It was a heavenly experience soured only slightly by my constant fear of discovery. I limited myself to a couple of bowls of soup and two free beers, as I knew once the booze started flowing more freely I'd let my guard down and the jig would be up. Sorry, now it sounds like I'm complaining about some free food and beer. I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining why I'm not still there.
Today's game was another highlight. The first game I attended I had to leave at halftime and Mainz ended up losing anyway. The second game, the VIP game, Mainz should have won but ended up tying instead. But today, finally, Mainz won, and boy, did they ever win: the final score was 6-1 against Paderborn. Granted, Paderborn is 3rd league and Mainz is 2nd league, and it should have been 6-0 if not for one of the Mainz defenders deciding the game was over even though there were still 15 minutes left, and therefore passing the ball directly to an opponent in front of his own goal. But it was still exhilarating to see Mainz win, and since soccer is normally such a low scoring game, it was awesome to see a blowout. Plus I've learned most of the chants/songs, so I was able to shout myself somewhat hoarse along with the rest of the rowdy crowd. To top it all off, after celebrating with Flo and some other friends afterwards, I have no class tomorrow. I get to sleep in and then search for some cleats for outdoor frisbee.
Once inside I let myself relax a little, but I still had to keep adjusting the bracelet so it wouldn't fall off and expose me. If you're wondering at this point what the trouble was worth, VIP means free alcohol and food. It was a heavenly experience soured only slightly by my constant fear of discovery. I limited myself to a couple of bowls of soup and two free beers, as I knew once the booze started flowing more freely I'd let my guard down and the jig would be up. Sorry, now it sounds like I'm complaining about some free food and beer. I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining why I'm not still there.
Today's game was another highlight. The first game I attended I had to leave at halftime and Mainz ended up losing anyway. The second game, the VIP game, Mainz should have won but ended up tying instead. But today, finally, Mainz won, and boy, did they ever win: the final score was 6-1 against Paderborn. Granted, Paderborn is 3rd league and Mainz is 2nd league, and it should have been 6-0 if not for one of the Mainz defenders deciding the game was over even though there were still 15 minutes left, and therefore passing the ball directly to an opponent in front of his own goal. But it was still exhilarating to see Mainz win, and since soccer is normally such a low scoring game, it was awesome to see a blowout. Plus I've learned most of the chants/songs, so I was able to shout myself somewhat hoarse along with the rest of the rowdy crowd. To top it all off, after celebrating with Flo and some other friends afterwards, I have no class tomorrow. I get to sleep in and then search for some cleats for outdoor frisbee.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Mmm...Bucket Of Lard
Alright, gotta take this slowly, ease back into the whole blog thing with small yet delicious nuggets of information. After more than four months off, I obviously need to post something on here. I probably got too ambitious promising to talk in detail about a week-long trip, so I'll try to get back to some more narrowly focused topics so I don't go crazy.
So here's something from Poland. I went with Ben, Kathryn, and Michaela from Thursday, Apr. 10 to Sunday, Apr. 13. We took a train from Berlin to Warsaw, which took about six hours, stayed there for a night and the next day we took a train to Krakow at around 8 PM. It turned out to be a great trip, beautiful cities that really rebounded after the war -- Warsaw in particular, since it was about 96% destroyed, whereas I think Krakow got off easier -- interesting sights, and many lovely people, both in personality and appearance. This was surprising to us and probably is to everyone else who hasn't been, since the stereotypes of destruction, depression, and terrible fashion haunt many of these eastern European countries. It also helped that the weather was gorgeous, much nicer than in Germany during the same period of time.
While we were surprised to see so many really attractive people, we became even more surprised as we ate at more restaurants. Why? Because when every meal includes lard, you expect to see some lardbutts running -- or lumbering -- along. There were no lardbutts, people. Despite finding lard sprinkled liberally on everything we ate, despite eating a leg of pork in an aspic mold (link goes to a definition), despite being served as a starter some slices of bread with a BUCKET of LARD as a spread (link goes to Kathryn's blog post with pictures of Poland, including Polish food if you scroll down), these Poles were not fat. How do they do it?
Maybe they don't sleep much...that's a good way to lose weight, right? While I was in Poland, I had multiple nightmares each night. I rarely dream anymore, whether good or bad, but on at least two nights I had nightmares which I was able to clearly remember. Since I wasn't doing anything else out of the ordinary, I have to assume that what was fueling my night terrors was the addition of large quantities of pure animal fat to my diet. I'm pretty sure the aspic, which was the first night in Warsaw, started this. If you've never had aspic, the definition I linked to won't do it justice. The horror of forcing this thing down my gullet...Ben tried a bite and refused to chew and swallow it, preferring to spit it in a napkin. I couldn't manage all of it, but half was clearly enough to damage my mind. And while the bucket of lard-spread turned out not to taste like anything as far as we could tell, it definitely was one of the least appetizing buckets I've ever seen.
Don't get me wrong -- most of the food we ate was quite delicious, especially pierogies, and I suppose Polish people don't eat this traditional stuff every meal the way we did. Definitely keep an open mind and try stuff, especially since the most hilarious reactions came from people realizing they needed to get the lard out of their mouths NOW. But don't overdo it unless you packed a night light and a teddy bear.
So here's something from Poland. I went with Ben, Kathryn, and Michaela from Thursday, Apr. 10 to Sunday, Apr. 13. We took a train from Berlin to Warsaw, which took about six hours, stayed there for a night and the next day we took a train to Krakow at around 8 PM. It turned out to be a great trip, beautiful cities that really rebounded after the war -- Warsaw in particular, since it was about 96% destroyed, whereas I think Krakow got off easier -- interesting sights, and many lovely people, both in personality and appearance. This was surprising to us and probably is to everyone else who hasn't been, since the stereotypes of destruction, depression, and terrible fashion haunt many of these eastern European countries. It also helped that the weather was gorgeous, much nicer than in Germany during the same period of time.
While we were surprised to see so many really attractive people, we became even more surprised as we ate at more restaurants. Why? Because when every meal includes lard, you expect to see some lardbutts running -- or lumbering -- along. There were no lardbutts, people. Despite finding lard sprinkled liberally on everything we ate, despite eating a leg of pork in an aspic mold (link goes to a definition), despite being served as a starter some slices of bread with a BUCKET of LARD as a spread (link goes to Kathryn's blog post with pictures of Poland, including Polish food if you scroll down), these Poles were not fat. How do they do it?
Maybe they don't sleep much...that's a good way to lose weight, right? While I was in Poland, I had multiple nightmares each night. I rarely dream anymore, whether good or bad, but on at least two nights I had nightmares which I was able to clearly remember. Since I wasn't doing anything else out of the ordinary, I have to assume that what was fueling my night terrors was the addition of large quantities of pure animal fat to my diet. I'm pretty sure the aspic, which was the first night in Warsaw, started this. If you've never had aspic, the definition I linked to won't do it justice. The horror of forcing this thing down my gullet...Ben tried a bite and refused to chew and swallow it, preferring to spit it in a napkin. I couldn't manage all of it, but half was clearly enough to damage my mind. And while the bucket of lard-spread turned out not to taste like anything as far as we could tell, it definitely was one of the least appetizing buckets I've ever seen.
Don't get me wrong -- most of the food we ate was quite delicious, especially pierogies, and I suppose Polish people don't eat this traditional stuff every meal the way we did. Definitely keep an open mind and try stuff, especially since the most hilarious reactions came from people realizing they needed to get the lard out of their mouths NOW. But don't overdo it unless you packed a night light and a teddy bear.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Stalling
I'm already breaking my resolution to post more frequently, especially things like trip details and pictures, but hopefully that'll change in a day or two. It's just that I'm currently writing a "Personal Statement" for a summer job application, and I'm trying to make it as interesting and funny as possible. I might not be either of those things in reality, but I sure will sound like it on paper, gosh darnit! Anyway, I'm saving my creative energies for this application, which leaves very little for blog posts and pics. What's the point of either if I can't slap my special brand of humor on them before I let them run free in the internet?
I should be done soon and then I can resume writing and posting things for your benefit -- unless you're addicted to the internet, at which point I'll just be enabling your addiction, which is not beneficial. Seek professional help. For now, check out this awesome game: Picross. If a child asks you where Picrosses come from, you can explain that when a Sudoku puzzle and a Minesweeper board really love each other, sometimes they express their love physically. Nine months later, out comes Picross, which is a really cool game where you fill in boxes to reveal a pretty picture. Bonus: it can be played on the Wii, too.
I should be done soon and then I can resume writing and posting things for your benefit -- unless you're addicted to the internet, at which point I'll just be enabling your addiction, which is not beneficial. Seek professional help. For now, check out this awesome game: Picross. If a child asks you where Picrosses come from, you can explain that when a Sudoku puzzle and a Minesweeper board really love each other, sometimes they express their love physically. Nine months later, out comes Picross, which is a really cool game where you fill in boxes to reveal a pretty picture. Bonus: it can be played on the Wii, too.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
And A Happy New Year
Did you make any resolutions? The reason I ask is so I can get a pool going for how long it'll be before you break those resolutions. Tell me quickly, before you gorge yourself on cookie dough! (I'm looking at you, Alena.)
What else is the new year about, other than resolving and then failing to better oneself?
Is it a time for revamping? My room could use some revamping. I swear it gets messier every day. And what's with all this dust? It's as if dust accumulates even when I'm not here. Who's dumping their dust on all my stuff when I'm not here? That's breaking and entering. I'll overlook it if you'll come take your dust back.
Is it a time for rewriting? For a month I'll be writing down the wrong date when signing documents, but I don't usually notice in time to rewrite it.
Is it a time of renewal? I returned everything to the library, so that can't be it. Maybe I should renew my Breakfast Club membership (I was the stuck-up chick).
Is it a time for refreshing? I refresh my inbox far too often as it is. If I checked my apartment mail slot as often as I do my email inbox, the receptionist would demand a restraining order.
Okay, maybe it's just a time for resolving. I resolve to post more often -- no more of this "two weeks of vacation" stuff. If I have to stay home with my internet, rambling insanely about how many dishes I have to wash from my breakfast of granola and yogurt (two) instead of traveling, so be it. Who cares if I have a nice Christmas with relatives and then a fun New Year's in Italy if I'm not here to chronicle it? If every minute detail doesn't end up clogging the blogosphere, how can it even matter? (Clog: fun word, ugly shoe. Clogosphere: fun word, not that spherical.)
It can't. I have failed you, loyal readers (reader?).
But No More!
From now on, expect a direct link-up to my brain. If I think it, it will appear here {mental note: Fraggle Rock...where are they now? Possible: enslaved by Mole Man. Probable: cave-in, no survivors}. If it happens, it will appear here (once I learn to draw everything around me in ASCII pictures: ~(_8o(|) <--That's Homer, for a start. Give it time).
Or maybe a new year means returning to the original plan, which is to give you a quick rundown of some highlights of the last couple of weeks, eventually post some pictures with some absurd captions, and then resume a strict posting schedule of "eh, every other day or so." Of course the more feedback I receive, the more likely I am to post. It's fun for me to know people read this stuff, even if it's not fun for people to read this stuff (I give and I give and it turns out it's all for me. Mwahaha).
Speaking of the original plan, I forgot the step where I still have to feed myself. Turns out the highlights of my trip will have to wait until after I make dinner or maybe even until tomorrowish. I'm a bad man. Using Homer once again, I'll sum up the situation: "Some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back." Eat my shorts.
What else is the new year about, other than resolving and then failing to better oneself?
Is it a time for revamping? My room could use some revamping. I swear it gets messier every day. And what's with all this dust? It's as if dust accumulates even when I'm not here. Who's dumping their dust on all my stuff when I'm not here? That's breaking and entering. I'll overlook it if you'll come take your dust back.
Is it a time for rewriting? For a month I'll be writing down the wrong date when signing documents, but I don't usually notice in time to rewrite it.
Is it a time of renewal? I returned everything to the library, so that can't be it. Maybe I should renew my Breakfast Club membership (I was the stuck-up chick).
Is it a time for refreshing? I refresh my inbox far too often as it is. If I checked my apartment mail slot as often as I do my email inbox, the receptionist would demand a restraining order.
Okay, maybe it's just a time for resolving. I resolve to post more often -- no more of this "two weeks of vacation" stuff. If I have to stay home with my internet, rambling insanely about how many dishes I have to wash from my breakfast of granola and yogurt (two) instead of traveling, so be it. Who cares if I have a nice Christmas with relatives and then a fun New Year's in Italy if I'm not here to chronicle it? If every minute detail doesn't end up clogging the blogosphere, how can it even matter? (Clog: fun word, ugly shoe. Clogosphere: fun word, not that spherical.)
It can't. I have failed you, loyal readers (reader?).
But No More!
From now on, expect a direct link-up to my brain. If I think it, it will appear here {mental note: Fraggle Rock...where are they now? Possible: enslaved by Mole Man. Probable: cave-in, no survivors}. If it happens, it will appear here (once I learn to draw everything around me in ASCII pictures: ~(_8o(|) <--That's Homer, for a start. Give it time).
Or maybe a new year means returning to the original plan, which is to give you a quick rundown of some highlights of the last couple of weeks, eventually post some pictures with some absurd captions, and then resume a strict posting schedule of "eh, every other day or so." Of course the more feedback I receive, the more likely I am to post. It's fun for me to know people read this stuff, even if it's not fun for people to read this stuff (I give and I give and it turns out it's all for me. Mwahaha).
Speaking of the original plan, I forgot the step where I still have to feed myself. Turns out the highlights of my trip will have to wait until after I make dinner or maybe even until tomorrowish. I'm a bad man. Using Homer once again, I'll sum up the situation: "Some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back." Eat my shorts.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Perks of Being A Teacher
Despite all appearances, there are in fact occasional perks to being a teacher. I was such an amateur I was missing out on one of these most essential of perks. I hadn't realized what I was missing until one teacher asked me to look over a couple of things her students had written. To make corrections I, of course, used mechanical pencil, my preferred writing tool. Preferred writing implement, even. Feel free to debate the merits of normal pencil or ink vs. mechanical pencil; an exercise in futility is still exercise.
When she saw what I had done, she said, "You know, you could have used red pen."
Red pen. The platinum card of writing utensils. The Excalibur of the literary set. The, you know, the best of some stuff to some other thing. I don't need to come up with my own analogies anymore: I get to use red pen to cross out other people's analogies.
I told her the only problem with such an upgrade: I didn't have a red pen. She promptly fished one out of her bag and gave it to me to keep. Wow, this takes editing to the extreme. Extreme editing! Taking the essaying world by storm! Extremely critical! Extreme editing! You don't argue with the red pen. It's so official. Truly, the red pen is mightier than the sword. Sure, swords can destroy people physically. Pffff. Big whoop. Red pens can destroy people emotionally and intellectually. If that's not why people become teachers, I must have missed the enormous Christmas bonus. (What if I did? Boy, would my face have matched my pen.)
But seriously, I've always enjoyed editing, and now I get to edit with a red pen. I have reached an entirely new level of job satisfaction. The last time school supplies had such a giddying effect on me, I woke up with a bottle of rubber cement stuck to my tongue and a Sharpie shoved up each of my nostrils. Wasn't 4th grade a trip?
Disclaimer: Don't eat rubber cement. You'll spoil your appetite for Elmer's Glue. And don't they still make specially scented markers for kids to scratch that nasal itch?
When she saw what I had done, she said, "You know, you could have used red pen."
Red pen. The platinum card of writing utensils. The Excalibur of the literary set. The, you know, the best of some stuff to some other thing. I don't need to come up with my own analogies anymore: I get to use red pen to cross out other people's analogies.
I told her the only problem with such an upgrade: I didn't have a red pen. She promptly fished one out of her bag and gave it to me to keep. Wow, this takes editing to the extreme. Extreme editing! Taking the essaying world by storm! Extremely critical! Extreme editing! You don't argue with the red pen. It's so official. Truly, the red pen is mightier than the sword. Sure, swords can destroy people physically. Pffff. Big whoop. Red pens can destroy people emotionally and intellectually. If that's not why people become teachers, I must have missed the enormous Christmas bonus. (What if I did? Boy, would my face have matched my pen.)
But seriously, I've always enjoyed editing, and now I get to edit with a red pen. I have reached an entirely new level of job satisfaction. The last time school supplies had such a giddying effect on me, I woke up with a bottle of rubber cement stuck to my tongue and a Sharpie shoved up each of my nostrils. Wasn't 4th grade a trip?
Disclaimer: Don't eat rubber cement. You'll spoil your appetite for Elmer's Glue. And don't they still make specially scented markers for kids to scratch that nasal itch?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
A Week Later
I didn't find the time to post at all this week, unfortunately. Last weekend in Neunkirchen/Saarbruecken was a lot of fun -- Ben and I saw a soccer game, then we spent the night hanging out with the girls in Saarbruecken, and on Sunday we went to Germany's only Hooters restaurant in Neunkirchen. Odd for my first time at a Hooters to be in Germany. We had giant hamburgers for dinner, and the others left but Ben and I stayed to watch the Patriots-Steelers game. At a little after midnight, Hooters finally kicked us out...at which time it was only the third quarter of the game. While it was clear that the Patriots were dominating (sorry, Ben, it's just their time.), it was still excruciating not to find out the outcome until the next afternoon -- Ben, you really need to get the internet.
And since I had taken Monday off to give myself time to recover and return home from watching football in Neunkirchen, the week was pretty short. At choir on Tuesday the director singled me out to sing with her while the rest of the group did the chorus and "la la las" and such. This would have been uncomfortable for me under the best of circumstances, and it was definitely not the best of circumstances. I had never even seen the song before, the melody was tricky, and it was written in ol' black southern slang (the title is "Mary's Boychile," which should explain it). We did a few painful verses, during which the director kept asking the others to sing a little quieter; it doesn't matter how quietly they sing if all I'm doing is lip syncing, though. It was a combination of that and some mumbling and stumbling. Thankfully I won't be at the Christmas concert so she can't possibly ask me to perform a solo there.
Wednesday at school I had a meeting to gauge the interest of 11-13 grade students in having a conversation hour once a week. Some of the teachers were skeptical, but there was a large turnout -- apparently German high schoolers are curious about this "America" thing. I'm going to start the program some time after Christmas break so hopefully I can feed them my propaganda and end up with some devoted minions. Wednesday night I went out to some bars/clubs with a couple of German friends -- played some darts, foosball, and pool, and then went to a dance club for a bit. Both places were new to me, so it was useful in addition to fun.
Thursday I went to Thorlef and Brigitte's for the night, as Puppe and Richard had arrived on Wednesday. We had a fantastic dinner (three course meal involving goose is hard to beat) and spent the night catching up and sampling Thorlef's extensive liquor supply. "Sampling" implies that we had small portions of many liquors, which is true except for the "small" part. Then yesterday Puppe, Richard, Brigitte, and I went into Darmstadt to do a little shopping, see the Christmas market, and, naturally, eat some more delicious food. The place also brewed their own beer. Also delicious.
I took the train back home, showered, packed an overnight bag, and headed to the University. Eight of us from the Uni Mainz Ultimate Frisbee team drove to Dortmund for a tournament. This was my first, so I was pretty excited. It was mostly a beginner's tourney, but anyone was invited so there was a wide range of skill levels. We got there a little before 10 PM. We played our first game at 11 PM. We finished our last game at 7 AM this morning. The night was filled with food, beer, and ultimate frisbee, but definitely no sleep. It was a great experience to be playing for real instead of just practicing, although I clearly need a lot more work. Some people stayed in the gym to sleep for a while this morning, but one of our cars was headed back so I went along.
I was in the passenger seat, so I tried my best to keep up a conversation with the driver for the 2 and a half hour drive so he wouldn't get too tired either. When I was talking, I could function normally. When I stopped talking, my brain went into absolute shut-down mode, and I've never had a harder time keeping my eyes open (okay, maybe a few times in high school history classes). I was having the weirdest one minute bouts of unconsciousness and dream sessions. So when I got back home, I crashed...for a whole four hours. No time for more, though -- there's a birthday party to attend tonight. Duty calls.
And since I had taken Monday off to give myself time to recover and return home from watching football in Neunkirchen, the week was pretty short. At choir on Tuesday the director singled me out to sing with her while the rest of the group did the chorus and "la la las" and such. This would have been uncomfortable for me under the best of circumstances, and it was definitely not the best of circumstances. I had never even seen the song before, the melody was tricky, and it was written in ol' black southern slang (the title is "Mary's Boychile," which should explain it). We did a few painful verses, during which the director kept asking the others to sing a little quieter; it doesn't matter how quietly they sing if all I'm doing is lip syncing, though. It was a combination of that and some mumbling and stumbling. Thankfully I won't be at the Christmas concert so she can't possibly ask me to perform a solo there.
Wednesday at school I had a meeting to gauge the interest of 11-13 grade students in having a conversation hour once a week. Some of the teachers were skeptical, but there was a large turnout -- apparently German high schoolers are curious about this "America" thing. I'm going to start the program some time after Christmas break so hopefully I can feed them my propaganda and end up with some devoted minions. Wednesday night I went out to some bars/clubs with a couple of German friends -- played some darts, foosball, and pool, and then went to a dance club for a bit. Both places were new to me, so it was useful in addition to fun.
Thursday I went to Thorlef and Brigitte's for the night, as Puppe and Richard had arrived on Wednesday. We had a fantastic dinner (three course meal involving goose is hard to beat) and spent the night catching up and sampling Thorlef's extensive liquor supply. "Sampling" implies that we had small portions of many liquors, which is true except for the "small" part. Then yesterday Puppe, Richard, Brigitte, and I went into Darmstadt to do a little shopping, see the Christmas market, and, naturally, eat some more delicious food. The place also brewed their own beer. Also delicious.
I took the train back home, showered, packed an overnight bag, and headed to the University. Eight of us from the Uni Mainz Ultimate Frisbee team drove to Dortmund for a tournament. This was my first, so I was pretty excited. It was mostly a beginner's tourney, but anyone was invited so there was a wide range of skill levels. We got there a little before 10 PM. We played our first game at 11 PM. We finished our last game at 7 AM this morning. The night was filled with food, beer, and ultimate frisbee, but definitely no sleep. It was a great experience to be playing for real instead of just practicing, although I clearly need a lot more work. Some people stayed in the gym to sleep for a while this morning, but one of our cars was headed back so I went along.
I was in the passenger seat, so I tried my best to keep up a conversation with the driver for the 2 and a half hour drive so he wouldn't get too tired either. When I was talking, I could function normally. When I stopped talking, my brain went into absolute shut-down mode, and I've never had a harder time keeping my eyes open (okay, maybe a few times in high school history classes). I was having the weirdest one minute bouts of unconsciousness and dream sessions. So when I got back home, I crashed...for a whole four hours. No time for more, though -- there's a birthday party to attend tonight. Duty calls.
Friday, December 07, 2007
5th Graders
Those 5th graders have definitely become my favorites. It helps that I'm clearly their favorite, too. I finally led one of their classes Thursday while Florian took the extra time to finish grading their tests in the back of the room. Two things made it all worthwhile. The first was a reading exercise. The story involved some kid's computer essentially coming to life and talking to him and his grandmother, which neither of them seemed too surprised about. I presume Grandma's medicine cabinet had something to do with this -- whatever they were on, it was strong enough to cause shared hallucinations and yet simultaneously keep them mellow enough to chat amicably with a newly self-aware machine. I woulda freaked.
But the trippy plot isn't my point -- my point is that as the kids took turn reading, they automatically put on a robotic voice when speaking the part of the computer. It was hilarious. The only thing that could have topped that is if they had spontaneously busted out The Robot. I'm talkin' television musical here, like the entire class standing up, flattening their hands, and flailing around spasmodically the way the Tin Man might if he was in dire need of oil during a dance-off. It couldn't get any better than that.
Wow, I just figured out what my next lesson is going to be.
And the second thing that made it worthwhile was when we did an exercise on the months and seasons. I got to point to each one and have the entire class repeat after me. That is way too much fun. If that's what it takes to be a 5th grade teacher, maybe I need to rethink my entire life plan (shouldn't take long...done). I could never be an evil dictator, because if I were in charge there would be no oppression, there would be no warring, there would be no forced labor. There would be only repeating after me. Where's the harm in that?
And lastly, another incident that happened last week, also involving some of the 5th graders. Some of the girls had surrounded me on my way to a class on Wednesday, but I eventually deflected them. They must not have been very observant, because when I got to their class on Thursday, some of the same girls appeared before me with strange expressions and questions. I could tell they were talking about my goatee, and I finally calmed them down enough to figure out what they were asking: "Did you have that yesterday??"
...
"Yes, I had it yesterday. You must have missed it."
Followed by an even better question: "Is it real?"
...
Is it possible these girls recently uncovered The Great Santa Claus Hoax and are now trying to protect themselves from falling once again into the trap of fake facial hair? This is 5th grade, anything is possible.
But the trippy plot isn't my point -- my point is that as the kids took turn reading, they automatically put on a robotic voice when speaking the part of the computer. It was hilarious. The only thing that could have topped that is if they had spontaneously busted out The Robot. I'm talkin' television musical here, like the entire class standing up, flattening their hands, and flailing around spasmodically the way the Tin Man might if he was in dire need of oil during a dance-off. It couldn't get any better than that.
Wow, I just figured out what my next lesson is going to be.
And the second thing that made it worthwhile was when we did an exercise on the months and seasons. I got to point to each one and have the entire class repeat after me. That is way too much fun. If that's what it takes to be a 5th grade teacher, maybe I need to rethink my entire life plan (shouldn't take long...done). I could never be an evil dictator, because if I were in charge there would be no oppression, there would be no warring, there would be no forced labor. There would be only repeating after me. Where's the harm in that?
And lastly, another incident that happened last week, also involving some of the 5th graders. Some of the girls had surrounded me on my way to a class on Wednesday, but I eventually deflected them. They must not have been very observant, because when I got to their class on Thursday, some of the same girls appeared before me with strange expressions and questions. I could tell they were talking about my goatee, and I finally calmed them down enough to figure out what they were asking: "Did you have that yesterday??"
...
"Yes, I had it yesterday. You must have missed it."
Followed by an even better question: "Is it real?"
...
Is it possible these girls recently uncovered The Great Santa Claus Hoax and are now trying to protect themselves from falling once again into the trap of fake facial hair? This is 5th grade, anything is possible.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Good Timing
It's been a few busy days since I posted, but only a couple of things worth mentioning. The choir performance at church on Sunday went well, I guess. We sang at various times throughout the mass, and otherwise things ran normally. We didn't receive a standing ovation and it's not the kind of place where people clap and cheer or even look as if they're enjoying themselves, no matter what you do, so it's tough to judge how much they enjoyed it. It's bad enough trying to introduce a bit of rousing gospel music to a normal church service in America -- now imagine introducing a bit of rousing gospel music in a different language, and you can start to picture those stoic faces. The highlight: during the finale of one song we got the rhythmic clap going, and the only person in the audience to join in was some old guy. Thankfully I was in the back and everyone was singing at that point, so I doubt many people noticed when I almost laughed and had to stop singing for a minute.
Last night I skipped out on choir practice to go to the Christmas market for a bit with a few people, where I continued to introduce Germans to the delightful addition of whiskey to the Gluehwein. Now that I have my Irish-red goatee again, though, I should probably ditch the cheap Scotch whiskey in favor of some cheap equivalent of Jameson. Gotta support the family connections (cheaply, of course).
And after posting about hedgehogs the other day, I feel obliged to mention this article I found: "Abandoned baby hedgehogs are too weak to hibernate", Too weak to go into a deep sleep? Maybe they're just overtired. Perhaps a months-long nap would help. In any case, I guarantee you'll want to click the link and see the article for yourself. How can I possibly guarantee such a thing, you ask? Pictures. What's what you say? You're sure baby hedgehogs are cute and all, but you don't think that warrants a full guarantee? Well baby hedgehogs should be enough, you cold-hearted monster.
But wait, there's more! Did I forget to mention that the baby hedgehogs in these pictures are wearing teeny...tiny...baby...hedgehog........casts? Never have I wanted to sign somebody's cast more than right now. I really can't stress this enough, people: you WANT to see baby hedgehogs wearing neon green or blue casts on their legs. It will expunge all feelings of stress and animosity from your soul. There. This article creates world peace if everybody looks at it. Is that good enough? Or does it need to be covered in chocolate and emissions-free first? Go.
Last night I skipped out on choir practice to go to the Christmas market for a bit with a few people, where I continued to introduce Germans to the delightful addition of whiskey to the Gluehwein. Now that I have my Irish-red goatee again, though, I should probably ditch the cheap Scotch whiskey in favor of some cheap equivalent of Jameson. Gotta support the family connections (cheaply, of course).
And after posting about hedgehogs the other day, I feel obliged to mention this article I found: "Abandoned baby hedgehogs are too weak to hibernate", Too weak to go into a deep sleep? Maybe they're just overtired. Perhaps a months-long nap would help. In any case, I guarantee you'll want to click the link and see the article for yourself. How can I possibly guarantee such a thing, you ask? Pictures. What's what you say? You're sure baby hedgehogs are cute and all, but you don't think that warrants a full guarantee? Well baby hedgehogs should be enough, you cold-hearted monster.
But wait, there's more! Did I forget to mention that the baby hedgehogs in these pictures are wearing teeny...tiny...baby...hedgehog........casts? Never have I wanted to sign somebody's cast more than right now. I really can't stress this enough, people: you WANT to see baby hedgehogs wearing neon green or blue casts on their legs. It will expunge all feelings of stress and animosity from your soul. There. This article creates world peace if everybody looks at it. Is that good enough? Or does it need to be covered in chocolate and emissions-free first? Go.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Holiday Spirits
Well, I met up with some of the teachers from my school at the entrance to the Christmas market at 4:30 Thursday night -- uh, Thursday afternoon? It sounds too early to be night, but it was already dark enough that it felt much later. Thankfully the market is there now to light up the night. When I got there, the others were just having their first toast, so I bought myself a piping hot mug and joined in.
Of course most of us didn't end up going to teacher sport. Instead, we stayed on at the market until it closed, around 9, and then I caught a bus home to crash for the night. The dangers of seasonal drinks and friends who keep offering to buy those seasonal drinks, I suppose. I may have spiked one or two of my drinks with scotch, too -- what can I say: it takes the edge off the sweetness, thereby greatly improving the taste, but it doesn't increase stamina.
I really didn't get a chance to check out the market very much -- we set up shop right near the entrance, at a table directly in front of one of the wine stands (another good/bad move), so the only time I wandered deeper into the fray was to find a bratwurst for dinner, and by that time my appraisal skills were focused solely on distinguishing "food" from "not food." But I've got another 24 days or so to browse and peruse and report back on how wonderful it all is.
Last night was another great one. A friend from Campus Radio, Catherine, threw a party with her roommates. I met a bunch of cool people. At one point I was discussing stereotypes and youth culture with a French girl and a couple of German girls. Turns out nobody's all that different (hint: kids all over the world love to drink, no matter what the politicians try to do). Although it does seem that we Americans drink the most. They were all pretty shocked to hear about all the drinking games and drinks such as grain alcohol that are common in America.
One of Catherine's friends was a police officer in another city -- she seemed most American in her drinking habits, and was therefore a bad influence. She was uncomfortable about, but also gamely ignored, the blatant pot smoking that was occurring elsewhere in the house. I guess the laws on how much you can have are kind of spotty, but even if it's not much you're not really supposed to share it. You're also not allowed to buy or sell it; go figure. Maybe you're supposed to grow it on your windowsill.
We stayed up till who knows when, and random friends of another roommate didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. It was unbelievable -- the house was a mess, and the music was blasting basically until the sun rose again. I felt like I was in college again. Technically I was and am, and so are they, but I meant American college; you know, the ones you see in the movies. I ended up crashing on the floor with some of Catherine's friends from home -- they were staying anyway since they're not from the area, and I stayed because I missed all of the buses. If all German parties are like that one, I'm not sure if I should be happy or scared. I don't expect to get involved in such shenanigans again at another friend's party tonight, though. I gotta keep that bass strong for tomorrow morning -- you know how it is when the gospel choir is counting on you.
Sample lyrics that I will be singing but not meaning tomorrow:
"Every time I feel the spirit moving in my heart I will pray;"
"It's me, it's me, it's me, oh Lord, standin' in the need of prayer;"
and, "Wade in the water, God's gonna trouble the water."
Wrap your head around those and maybe I'll cut a greatest hits album someday.
Of course most of us didn't end up going to teacher sport. Instead, we stayed on at the market until it closed, around 9, and then I caught a bus home to crash for the night. The dangers of seasonal drinks and friends who keep offering to buy those seasonal drinks, I suppose. I may have spiked one or two of my drinks with scotch, too -- what can I say: it takes the edge off the sweetness, thereby greatly improving the taste, but it doesn't increase stamina.
I really didn't get a chance to check out the market very much -- we set up shop right near the entrance, at a table directly in front of one of the wine stands (another good/bad move), so the only time I wandered deeper into the fray was to find a bratwurst for dinner, and by that time my appraisal skills were focused solely on distinguishing "food" from "not food." But I've got another 24 days or so to browse and peruse and report back on how wonderful it all is.
Last night was another great one. A friend from Campus Radio, Catherine, threw a party with her roommates. I met a bunch of cool people. At one point I was discussing stereotypes and youth culture with a French girl and a couple of German girls. Turns out nobody's all that different (hint: kids all over the world love to drink, no matter what the politicians try to do). Although it does seem that we Americans drink the most. They were all pretty shocked to hear about all the drinking games and drinks such as grain alcohol that are common in America.
One of Catherine's friends was a police officer in another city -- she seemed most American in her drinking habits, and was therefore a bad influence. She was uncomfortable about, but also gamely ignored, the blatant pot smoking that was occurring elsewhere in the house. I guess the laws on how much you can have are kind of spotty, but even if it's not much you're not really supposed to share it. You're also not allowed to buy or sell it; go figure. Maybe you're supposed to grow it on your windowsill.
We stayed up till who knows when, and random friends of another roommate didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. It was unbelievable -- the house was a mess, and the music was blasting basically until the sun rose again. I felt like I was in college again. Technically I was and am, and so are they, but I meant American college; you know, the ones you see in the movies. I ended up crashing on the floor with some of Catherine's friends from home -- they were staying anyway since they're not from the area, and I stayed because I missed all of the buses. If all German parties are like that one, I'm not sure if I should be happy or scared. I don't expect to get involved in such shenanigans again at another friend's party tonight, though. I gotta keep that bass strong for tomorrow morning -- you know how it is when the gospel choir is counting on you.
Sample lyrics that I will be singing but not meaning tomorrow:
"Every time I feel the spirit moving in my heart I will pray;"
"It's me, it's me, it's me, oh Lord, standin' in the need of prayer;"
and, "Wade in the water, God's gonna trouble the water."
Wrap your head around those and maybe I'll cut a greatest hits album someday.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Interesting Weekend Ahead
I'm including tomorrow, since my weekends start on Thursday afternoon, of course. Just gotta get through a 5th grade class and two 11th grade classes, shouldn't be too bad. Tomorrow is a big day: the Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas market) opens! Yeah, definitely something to get excited about -- the Christmas season in Germany is a splendid time. Sorry, now that I wear a scarf and read the Economist I feel obligated to refer to things as "smashing" and "splendid." I'm headed down to the market tomorrow evening with some of the teachers to get loaded on warm, alcoholic drinks such as Gluehwein. I don't know if there's an equivalent to Gluehwein to compare it to, and I don't actually like the taste that much, but it's hot and seasonal and alcoholic and comes in special glasses that you can keep, so it's worth it anyway. Not sure if I'll make it to teacher sports night tomorrow...the Weihnachtsmarkt is really in charge of my fate once it starts.
Both Friday and Saturday I'm invited to housewarming parties of friends involved with Campus Radio, so those should be cool too. Saturday I'll probably have to take it easy though...I have to sing on Sunday morning.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I sing in a gospel choir? Haaa. Started a couple months ago with Heather and Brittany. I get to sing the praises of a God that I don't really believe in, which undoubtedly makes Him chuckle. Hopefully he keeps laughing, because once the laughter stops, you know how He gets, with the floods and the smiting and the whole apple business. I guess I like to sing, and even though this whole gospel business isn't my thing, I find the practices endlessly amusing, so I've stuck with it. Plus, they always need guys to sing bass. On Sunday, for example, there are going to be two of us singing bass. There's something wrong with the image of me as one of two guys singing bass at church this Sunday, since I wasn't sure if I'd even stay in the choir, so that makes me laugh, too. At least we sing songs in English, so hopefully I don't forget too many lines.
So now that you know one of my many dirty little secrets, we can move on to a cute anecdote. One of my 5th graders saw me yesterday and asked if I was coming to her class that day, and when I told her no, I only come on Thursdays, she got all sad and asked, "that far away?" My heart grew three sizes (so now it's the size of four angels on the head of a pin). She also asked if I was going into the teacher's lounge, and when I said yes, her eyes got all wide and she breathed, "Wow."
That's why I sometimes like kids: they're so easily impressed. It's refreshing to awe someone by passing unrestricted into the teacher's lounge.
Speaking of easily impressing kids, my aunt Vicky told me that her daughter, Ani, who's also my goddaughter, is really excited to see me for Christmas, but that Ani instructed that I have to have a beard and mustache, because I look best that way. I don't think she has any way of knowing that. Maybe it's because her older sister always says I look better without facial hair. That's probably a good reason for her to request it. Either way, 'tis the season of giving, so I'm giving my red beard free rein as her Christmas gift. Wouldn't it be awesome if that was all I gave her for Christmas? "Here, Ani, unwrap my jaw!" While it's nice to go without shaving for a while, it's itchy and annoying. She'd better be awed at Christmas.
Both Friday and Saturday I'm invited to housewarming parties of friends involved with Campus Radio, so those should be cool too. Saturday I'll probably have to take it easy though...I have to sing on Sunday morning.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I sing in a gospel choir? Haaa. Started a couple months ago with Heather and Brittany. I get to sing the praises of a God that I don't really believe in, which undoubtedly makes Him chuckle. Hopefully he keeps laughing, because once the laughter stops, you know how He gets, with the floods and the smiting and the whole apple business. I guess I like to sing, and even though this whole gospel business isn't my thing, I find the practices endlessly amusing, so I've stuck with it. Plus, they always need guys to sing bass. On Sunday, for example, there are going to be two of us singing bass. There's something wrong with the image of me as one of two guys singing bass at church this Sunday, since I wasn't sure if I'd even stay in the choir, so that makes me laugh, too. At least we sing songs in English, so hopefully I don't forget too many lines.
So now that you know one of my many dirty little secrets, we can move on to a cute anecdote. One of my 5th graders saw me yesterday and asked if I was coming to her class that day, and when I told her no, I only come on Thursdays, she got all sad and asked, "that far away?" My heart grew three sizes (so now it's the size of four angels on the head of a pin). She also asked if I was going into the teacher's lounge, and when I said yes, her eyes got all wide and she breathed, "Wow."
That's why I sometimes like kids: they're so easily impressed. It's refreshing to awe someone by passing unrestricted into the teacher's lounge.
Speaking of easily impressing kids, my aunt Vicky told me that her daughter, Ani, who's also my goddaughter, is really excited to see me for Christmas, but that Ani instructed that I have to have a beard and mustache, because I look best that way. I don't think she has any way of knowing that. Maybe it's because her older sister always says I look better without facial hair. That's probably a good reason for her to request it. Either way, 'tis the season of giving, so I'm giving my red beard free rein as her Christmas gift. Wouldn't it be awesome if that was all I gave her for Christmas? "Here, Ani, unwrap my jaw!" While it's nice to go without shaving for a while, it's itchy and annoying. She'd better be awed at Christmas.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Mister Furriness for All
In all of the confusion, I nearly forgot the new addition to the Callaghan household back in Maine. Since Winston was Alena's replacement once she left, I guess that means Fabian is my replacement. I believe the evil eye in this picture represents his challenge to me: i.e., If you ever return, I will shred your non-furry bits and use your bed as a litter box.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into a cat's expression and he's really a sweet fellow. I can't risk it, though; I have too many non-furry bits.
Speaking of crazy animal expressions, the greatest one of all was finally captured on camera by my dad some weeks ago. This is the expression with which Winston greets you when you return home, and it is an exquisite combination of rage (that you could ever even entertain the notion of leaving him) and ecstasy (you're back, you're back, you're baaaaack). While it is not perfect, this is so far the best way -- other than to personally abandon and then return to him yourself --to see what is simply known as "That Face":
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Want to Pet...But...Too...Pointy
These two little guys (gals? they all look the same to me) are new additions to the Spickschen Compound in Seeheim. Thorlef and Brigitte had two hedgehogs in their backyard/garden/whatever you call something that large with a pond. Apparently they eat annoyances such as slugs and are just generally awesome, as you can see.But a couple of months ago we found the carcass of one. Brigitte wanted to get another one to keep the survivor company, and for some reason the animal shelter where they got their cat a few years ago had a hedgehog to offer. So we headed over there yesterday with the kids to score us some 'hog. When we got there, though, it turned out they had not one, not even two, but three hedgehogs available. Well, the more the spikier, so we returned home with triple the bounty.
We unpacked them deep in the backyard and let them figure out when to come out on their own. I suppose they'll be settling in to hibernate soon, but I'm sure once they wake up and rub the sleep out of their eyes they'll be very happy in their new home. On a related note, I hope Winston, my parents' dog, never meets one of these -- his favorite toy is a stuffed hedgehog. You can look, but, boy, you can't touch.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
German Thanksgiving
So the Thanksgiving dinner my teacher certainly lived up to the expectations of such a day: great food, and way too much of it. There was more variety of food than I've ever had before too, because she incorporated almost all of the holiday's traditional American foods and then made some traditional German foods to go with it. I will now list and describe said foods, partly to impress upon you the scope and partly to try to recapture some of the deliciousness of Thanksgiving dinner, since I don't have leftovers to enjoy for weeks the way you do. The list, which hopefully isn't missing anything:
turkey - extremely uncommon in Germany, but she found a whole one and roasted it;
gravy - absolutely necessary to unite all the different foods on the plate, and it performed this duty admirably;
cranberry sauce - this berry used to be impossible to find in Germany, and it's still very rare, but she found them and made her own sauce, which was much better than the stuff that slides out of the can and plops onto the plate, still impossibly can-shaped;
sweet potatoes - also rare in Germany -- they're not my favorite, but mixed with other stuff they add an interesting flavor, plus you can't beat that nuclear-waste-orange color;
stuffing (American style) - just like the real thing -- I used to hate stuffing, but I've grown to enjoy it as long as it's mixed in with the rest;
stuffing (German style) - chestnuts and raisins -- not sure exactly how it's prepared but then again I guess I could say that about most foods on the list, and all that matters is that the end product was tasty;
brussel sprouts - somehow I had never, ever tried these before, since neither of my parents likes them -- all I'll say about this vegetable is that I want to thank my parents now for excluding it from my childhood diet;
red cabbage - a German staple of which I've grown extremely fond, and it went exceedingly well with the rest of the meal -- it helps that it's a moist food, which things like turkey and dumplings need to complement not only their tastes but also their textures;
potato dumplings - these are another German staple that are very good when combined with the right foods and sauces, such as the red cabbage I mentioned;
pumpkin soup - this seems like it would be an American thing since pumpkins are still somewhat rare in Germany, but the only two times I've had pumpkin soup have both been at American Thanksgiving dinners made in Germany -- this was a great batch of an unusual soup;
salad - this was actually less a salad and more a portion of strawberry/raspberry Jello (yes, the American kind) with small pieces of apple covering a few leaves of lettuce -- the only part I finished was the apple, but even though I don't usually like Jello, I found this stuff pretty good;
ice cream - this was the dessert that we mostly struggled in vain to eat, since we were so stuffed -- it was some kind of lemonade Italian ice I think, and surrounded by the cranberry sauce, which was a good combo that just wouldn't fit in my stomach.
So that was the meal, or at least all of what I can remember through a fog of gravy and red wine. There must be some downside to it all (oh yeah, the potential for massive weight gain and soaring cholesterol!). There was no football on TV, no parades, but since I never watch that crap on Thanksgiving anyway, this was an extremely satisfying substitute for being at home for the normal dinner with my family (don't worry, Mom, not even German bread can beat your fresh baked rolls). I hope all of your Thanksgivings were as nice, and think of me when you're running out of turkey sandwiches. I'll still be spooning pumpkin pie mix out of a can.
turkey - extremely uncommon in Germany, but she found a whole one and roasted it;
gravy - absolutely necessary to unite all the different foods on the plate, and it performed this duty admirably;
cranberry sauce - this berry used to be impossible to find in Germany, and it's still very rare, but she found them and made her own sauce, which was much better than the stuff that slides out of the can and plops onto the plate, still impossibly can-shaped;
sweet potatoes - also rare in Germany -- they're not my favorite, but mixed with other stuff they add an interesting flavor, plus you can't beat that nuclear-waste-orange color;
stuffing (American style) - just like the real thing -- I used to hate stuffing, but I've grown to enjoy it as long as it's mixed in with the rest;
stuffing (German style) - chestnuts and raisins -- not sure exactly how it's prepared but then again I guess I could say that about most foods on the list, and all that matters is that the end product was tasty;
brussel sprouts - somehow I had never, ever tried these before, since neither of my parents likes them -- all I'll say about this vegetable is that I want to thank my parents now for excluding it from my childhood diet;
red cabbage - a German staple of which I've grown extremely fond, and it went exceedingly well with the rest of the meal -- it helps that it's a moist food, which things like turkey and dumplings need to complement not only their tastes but also their textures;
potato dumplings - these are another German staple that are very good when combined with the right foods and sauces, such as the red cabbage I mentioned;
pumpkin soup - this seems like it would be an American thing since pumpkins are still somewhat rare in Germany, but the only two times I've had pumpkin soup have both been at American Thanksgiving dinners made in Germany -- this was a great batch of an unusual soup;
salad - this was actually less a salad and more a portion of strawberry/raspberry Jello (yes, the American kind) with small pieces of apple covering a few leaves of lettuce -- the only part I finished was the apple, but even though I don't usually like Jello, I found this stuff pretty good;
ice cream - this was the dessert that we mostly struggled in vain to eat, since we were so stuffed -- it was some kind of lemonade Italian ice I think, and surrounded by the cranberry sauce, which was a good combo that just wouldn't fit in my stomach.
So that was the meal, or at least all of what I can remember through a fog of gravy and red wine. There must be some downside to it all (oh yeah, the potential for massive weight gain and soaring cholesterol!). There was no football on TV, no parades, but since I never watch that crap on Thanksgiving anyway, this was an extremely satisfying substitute for being at home for the normal dinner with my family (don't worry, Mom, not even German bread can beat your fresh baked rolls). I hope all of your Thanksgivings were as nice, and think of me when you're running out of turkey sandwiches. I'll still be spooning pumpkin pie mix out of a can.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
HTD
Don't worry -- even though most Germans refuse to recognize our gluttonous holiday and forced me to work today, I'm still getting a piece of the Thanksgiving experience. One of my teachers was able to bring in a couple of pumpkin pies today so the students in my two classes could try out this traditional dessert. I don't care for it, though the piece I tried wasn't bad. I wanted to bring in a pie or two myself, and a friend in my choir had her husband look for them at the military base in Wiesbaden, but the best we could do was a can of pumpkin pie mix. Germany doesn't have pre-made pie shells and I don't have an oven, but if I ever overcome those two obstacles, I'll try to make pumpkin pie anyway.
And Bettina, my mentor-teacher, is making Thanksgiving dinner tonight, which is very sweet of her. She's spent a lot of time in the US, so I'll get my fill of turkey and such. She's really getting the full Thanksgiving stress-effect as well: too much to do, too much food to try to prepare, and a bunch of people she invited have had to back out last minute because of illnesses. I told her and her class that this was the dark side of Thanksgiving that you don't see in the happy-go-lucky pictures and descriptions of the holiday. But anyway, I'm really looking forward to dinner soon.
In one of my classes today, I showed the students how to draw a hand-turkey, I told them the joke about April flowers, Mayflowers, and Pilgrims, and I showed them a couple of comics (this one and that one) relating to the holiday. As with all funny things, the more you have to analyze and dissect them to understand what they mean, the less funny they become. I expected this, but it's still unfortunate. Only my artificial laughs broke the tension, since they understood that and subsequently laughed too. Saying "Ha ha ha" with a straight face is a surprisingly powerful tool.
And when I found out another of my teachers had a 6th grade class today, I told her about hand-turkeys too, and that it was a fun activity for kids. So when I got back to the teacher's lounge at the end of the day, she showed me a stack of papers: the hand-turkeys her class had drawn and colored. Those were great. My favorite was the turkey with dark shades and a fat gold chain around his neck, including a piece that said "HTD." I asked her what it meant: "Happy Turkey Day," a message I gladly pass along to you.
And Bettina, my mentor-teacher, is making Thanksgiving dinner tonight, which is very sweet of her. She's spent a lot of time in the US, so I'll get my fill of turkey and such. She's really getting the full Thanksgiving stress-effect as well: too much to do, too much food to try to prepare, and a bunch of people she invited have had to back out last minute because of illnesses. I told her and her class that this was the dark side of Thanksgiving that you don't see in the happy-go-lucky pictures and descriptions of the holiday. But anyway, I'm really looking forward to dinner soon.
In one of my classes today, I showed the students how to draw a hand-turkey, I told them the joke about April flowers, Mayflowers, and Pilgrims, and I showed them a couple of comics (this one and that one) relating to the holiday. As with all funny things, the more you have to analyze and dissect them to understand what they mean, the less funny they become. I expected this, but it's still unfortunate. Only my artificial laughs broke the tension, since they understood that and subsequently laughed too. Saying "Ha ha ha" with a straight face is a surprisingly powerful tool.
And when I found out another of my teachers had a 6th grade class today, I told her about hand-turkeys too, and that it was a fun activity for kids. So when I got back to the teacher's lounge at the end of the day, she showed me a stack of papers: the hand-turkeys her class had drawn and colored. Those were great. My favorite was the turkey with dark shades and a fat gold chain around his neck, including a piece that said "HTD." I asked her what it meant: "Happy Turkey Day," a message I gladly pass along to you.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Mmm...Free Music
I recently found and joined, for a nominal yearly fee, the city library. Of course the University of Mainz has a main library and many other subject-specific libraries. But I haven't spent much time exploring those, they're a bit imposing, and I know there are supposed to be some restrictions on what you can take out. Also, the University libraries are at least 15 minutes farther out of my way than the city library. Aside from these perks though, the most alluring thing about the city library is its fairly large CD collection.
This will be a good way to bulk up my music library, especially with the inclusion of German music. I can take up to 25 things out at once -- I settled for a mere 10 CDs my first time. Let's just say that the nominal yearly fee has already paid for itself. I'm exactly halfway through importing the CDs to iTunes. In addition to a few German rap CDs, not all of which I've listened to yet, I got some good English music, such as The Clinic, Cake, The Beta Band, Afu-Ra, and a couple from The Cure. You really can't go wrong with a free CD collection unless it's comprised entirely of Celine Dion and country music.
Along with the music, I am also newly enjoying my subscription to The Economist, which started as an early Christmas gift from the 'rents (thanks guys!). I can already feel myself getting smarter and more worldly as a result. In case you've never felt that and are wondering, it feels like walking through rain made of honey. Of course, for a weekly magazine, the thing has got to have as many words as the Bible. It takes forever to read, and a lot of the financial and business stuff is extremely foreign to me -- it's really like homework sometimes, albeit interesting homework. I keep it in my backpack or jacket pocket so I always have it with me, and I whip it out (just the magazine) whenever I'm waiting for the bus, riding the bus, on break at school...well, really anytime I have a few minutes that aren't being used for something else. Otherwise I will never get through it and will eventually end up buried under a pile of unread Economists.
Finally, I had my weekly Ultimate Frisbee practice tonight, which was even more fun than usual because we spent practically the whole time playing 5-on-5. It took them a couple of practices, but my teammates are now beginning to grasp the true extent of my tallness. They suddenly realized tonight how often they're able to just toss up a Hail Mary in the general direction of the end zone and depend on me to reach high over the heads of mere mortals in order to make the catch. The German equivalent of "Just go long" became the team "strategy." Apparently trying to make things even tougher on themselves, the opposing team kept having the shortest girl try to mark me, which was impossible. But then again if I had to mark her she'd run circles around me so it can go both ways.
Anyway, it's been Thanksgiving here for the past hour, and so far I'm thankful that my first class isn't until 10:40. Enjoy your vacation time, slackers; I only get Fridays off, so I'll be slogging through my full three hour workday tomorrow.
This will be a good way to bulk up my music library, especially with the inclusion of German music. I can take up to 25 things out at once -- I settled for a mere 10 CDs my first time. Let's just say that the nominal yearly fee has already paid for itself. I'm exactly halfway through importing the CDs to iTunes. In addition to a few German rap CDs, not all of which I've listened to yet, I got some good English music, such as The Clinic, Cake, The Beta Band, Afu-Ra, and a couple from The Cure. You really can't go wrong with a free CD collection unless it's comprised entirely of Celine Dion and country music.
Along with the music, I am also newly enjoying my subscription to The Economist, which started as an early Christmas gift from the 'rents (thanks guys!). I can already feel myself getting smarter and more worldly as a result. In case you've never felt that and are wondering, it feels like walking through rain made of honey. Of course, for a weekly magazine, the thing has got to have as many words as the Bible. It takes forever to read, and a lot of the financial and business stuff is extremely foreign to me -- it's really like homework sometimes, albeit interesting homework. I keep it in my backpack or jacket pocket so I always have it with me, and I whip it out (just the magazine) whenever I'm waiting for the bus, riding the bus, on break at school...well, really anytime I have a few minutes that aren't being used for something else. Otherwise I will never get through it and will eventually end up buried under a pile of unread Economists.
Finally, I had my weekly Ultimate Frisbee practice tonight, which was even more fun than usual because we spent practically the whole time playing 5-on-5. It took them a couple of practices, but my teammates are now beginning to grasp the true extent of my tallness. They suddenly realized tonight how often they're able to just toss up a Hail Mary in the general direction of the end zone and depend on me to reach high over the heads of mere mortals in order to make the catch. The German equivalent of "Just go long" became the team "strategy." Apparently trying to make things even tougher on themselves, the opposing team kept having the shortest girl try to mark me, which was impossible. But then again if I had to mark her she'd run circles around me so it can go both ways.
Anyway, it's been Thanksgiving here for the past hour, and so far I'm thankful that my first class isn't until 10:40. Enjoy your vacation time, slackers; I only get Fridays off, so I'll be slogging through my full three hour workday tomorrow.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Don't Bring Me Down
First, it's always nice to wake up and check the sports pages online and find out that the Patriots keep on rollin'. What's even funnier to see is that the Miami Dolphins keep on gettin' rolled. The '72 Dolphins are the only team in football ever to have a perfect season, but while the Patriots keep their sights on tying that record, the '07 Dolphins "are on their way to setting another perfect record - a season unblemished by wins," as it was hilariously stated by someone in a www.fark.com article description. Yes, while the Pats are 10-0, the Dolphins are 0-10. This is truly a bounteous season.
Second, the kids in my 6th grade class toyed with my emotions today. Well, not all of them, but some of them -- okay, one kid in particular. I saw the students as I was leaving school; they were waiting for their bus to the swimming pool. They got me to admit that I speak German, though they didn't really have to twist my arm. It's good if they try to speak English with me, but I don't really mind admitting that I speak German either. Honestly, I always feel a little pride when they realize it.
But I had barely gotten to enjoy my pride, and already one of the kids had decided that I didn't speak the language very well. It didn't seem hostile or teasing, so it's quite possible he just assumed my hesitance to start speaking German with them was because I was unsure of my ability. He may have been trying to shelter me from the onslaught of German I was about to face from his classmates when they heard about it. Gee, aren't children helpful? Whatever his intentions, picture it: some more of the kids would ask me if I could speak German, and before I had a chance to prove myself he would run to my aid with "Yeah, but not very well!"
He certainly deflated the balloons in my pride parade.
On the other hand, the little girls all love me still. Does that count for anything?
Second, the kids in my 6th grade class toyed with my emotions today. Well, not all of them, but some of them -- okay, one kid in particular. I saw the students as I was leaving school; they were waiting for their bus to the swimming pool. They got me to admit that I speak German, though they didn't really have to twist my arm. It's good if they try to speak English with me, but I don't really mind admitting that I speak German either. Honestly, I always feel a little pride when they realize it.
But I had barely gotten to enjoy my pride, and already one of the kids had decided that I didn't speak the language very well. It didn't seem hostile or teasing, so it's quite possible he just assumed my hesitance to start speaking German with them was because I was unsure of my ability. He may have been trying to shelter me from the onslaught of German I was about to face from his classmates when they heard about it. Gee, aren't children helpful? Whatever his intentions, picture it: some more of the kids would ask me if I could speak German, and before I had a chance to prove myself he would run to my aid with "Yeah, but not very well!"
He certainly deflated the balloons in my pride parade.
On the other hand, the little girls all love me still. Does that count for anything?
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