Is YOURS! That's what my students learned yesterday at least, when I showed them the first episode of Captain Planet and the Planeteers. I mean, they're learning about the environment, so, right? This is how I learned about saving the earth, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them.
How can you beat lines like "By your powers combined...I am CAPTAIN PLANET!"? (And it's not gratingly redundant like Prince Adam aka He-Man's wail of "By the power of Greyskull...I have the POWER!" You already said power, doofus.) With the way Captain Planet acquired new superpowers, he coulda wailed on Superman in his prime...as long as Supes didn't have smog breath. And check out some of the heavy hitters they got to voice characters on the show: Sting, LeVar Burton, and Whoopi Goldberg! Talk about street cred.
But did my students appreciate it? Pfft, of course not. They had to go tearin' into it, raggin' on the Cap'n's little speedo + half-shirt number, his penchant for lame jokes, even his grass-green flat top-mullet. That was the HEIGHT of environmentally-friendly superhero fashion back in 1990, and if I know fashion, it'll be back soon enough. That kind of style is cyclical, dollface.
One cynic even busted out the million dollar question: "Did this change the way you lived at all?" Dude, I was five when this show came out. So, yes, it changed my life. I'm sure I was brainwashed in some way to appreciate powerful men with mullets and bikinis. That's what saving the environment is about, and when Al Gore realizes that, we'll really be on to something.
Oh, and just in case you fail to watch the episode I linked to, I have to point out that the show's first season ran the year before the Soviet Union fell. When asked by the stupid fire kid from the Bronx if she's Russian, Linka (the wind chick) angrily clarifies: "No. Soviet! Now go avay!" Just the icing on the cake.
Oops, almost forgot! I just found a German version of the intro and, most importantly, the outro (which was arguably the most famous part of the show: the positively classic theme music). Eat it up, world.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
A Little Taste Of Home
Robert and I went to a place called American Diner for dinner tonight. Robert is a friend from the frisbee team -- he started playing about the same time I did, and he's good people. He had recommended this diner a while back and, being a real American (hero, GI Joe is theeeeere....if you didn't sing along with that, you're not a child of the '80s.), I figured I should investigate. We finally made it this evening, and the good news is, it's halfway decent.
We sat outside because the weather was so nice, but before leaving I glanced inside. It's got the right touches from what I could see: the proper shiny, silver lining on everything, the distinctive worn, red pleather (or whatever it's made of) booths, and even a jukebox. You'd feel comfortable ordering a malt in there. And they menu hits the proper highs: chicken wings, spare ribs, and a varied selection of specialty burgers, including a Double Header and a Triple Header if you really covet that American waistline. Oh, and lest I forget, they have different All You Can Eat specials throughout the week, for prices that are basically the same as the single servings. They've been doing their homework, yes indeed.
My choice was clear (since there were no All You Can Eat specials on Sundays): the BBQ Burger, with their special home made BBQ sauce. I'm constantly lamenting the lack of proper (or, uh, any) BBQ sauce in Germany, so when I see it I have to try it. Good news: this stuff was passable (I positively gush with praise, don't I? I should work on that). The burger and sauce were quite good, especially since it's been so long since I've had the real stuff. The burgers even come with a little American flag on a toothpick stuck in them. How's that for a finishing touch?
The fries were tasty, too, but I'm not a huge fry guy and there were too many, so Robert finished off mine once he cleaned his plate. As if that wasn't enough to make me doubt my citizenship, there was more. The burgers are pretty big already, but in fact the average-sized couple at the table next to us really pulled out the stops. The guy polished off a Triple Header and even his girlfriend made short work of a Double Header, including all of the fries for both of them. I expected them to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and then give me a wedgie. Sorry, folks: I let you down.
Other than forcing me to question my American manhood, it was a fun time. The place isn't quite Fuddruckers, but it's one of the best approximations I've seen over here.
Oh, and the demonstration last Wednesday went well, so in case anybody was still wondering, I survived. There was a great turnout, especially for such short notice, and the weather cooperated -- my face even got a tiny bit sunburned. I was one of 20 people involved who had to hold back on the "protesting" aspect and just make sure nothing got out of hand, since this was an organized protest. I had a bright orange vest along with the swell of self-righteousness that a small amount of undeserved power brings.
I'm not sure what will happen with this school situation, but I'll keep ya posted if anything interesting happens.
We sat outside because the weather was so nice, but before leaving I glanced inside. It's got the right touches from what I could see: the proper shiny, silver lining on everything, the distinctive worn, red pleather (or whatever it's made of) booths, and even a jukebox. You'd feel comfortable ordering a malt in there. And they menu hits the proper highs: chicken wings, spare ribs, and a varied selection of specialty burgers, including a Double Header and a Triple Header if you really covet that American waistline. Oh, and lest I forget, they have different All You Can Eat specials throughout the week, for prices that are basically the same as the single servings. They've been doing their homework, yes indeed.
My choice was clear (since there were no All You Can Eat specials on Sundays): the BBQ Burger, with their special home made BBQ sauce. I'm constantly lamenting the lack of proper (or, uh, any) BBQ sauce in Germany, so when I see it I have to try it. Good news: this stuff was passable (I positively gush with praise, don't I? I should work on that). The burger and sauce were quite good, especially since it's been so long since I've had the real stuff. The burgers even come with a little American flag on a toothpick stuck in them. How's that for a finishing touch?
The fries were tasty, too, but I'm not a huge fry guy and there were too many, so Robert finished off mine once he cleaned his plate. As if that wasn't enough to make me doubt my citizenship, there was more. The burgers are pretty big already, but in fact the average-sized couple at the table next to us really pulled out the stops. The guy polished off a Triple Header and even his girlfriend made short work of a Double Header, including all of the fries for both of them. I expected them to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and then give me a wedgie. Sorry, folks: I let you down.
Other than forcing me to question my American manhood, it was a fun time. The place isn't quite Fuddruckers, but it's one of the best approximations I've seen over here.
Oh, and the demonstration last Wednesday went well, so in case anybody was still wondering, I survived. There was a great turnout, especially for such short notice, and the weather cooperated -- my face even got a tiny bit sunburned. I was one of 20 people involved who had to hold back on the "protesting" aspect and just make sure nothing got out of hand, since this was an organized protest. I had a bright orange vest along with the swell of self-righteousness that a small amount of undeserved power brings.
I'm not sure what will happen with this school situation, but I'll keep ya posted if anything interesting happens.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
We're Here, We're Queer, We Don't Want Any More Bears!
If I hold up a sign tomorrow with that slogan on it, do you think the Germans will get the Simpsons reference? Probably not, and then they'll be torn over the message -- "'Queer'? 'bears'? well wait just a minute here." In fact Germans seem to want more polar bears but fewer brown bears. Maybe they just want their bears carefully stored in zoos. Pfft. Ask Poland how bears should be handled: they should have open air enclosures by the side of busy streets in the middle of a city like Warsaw with only a waterless moat separating them from sweet, sweet human flesh. Yes, that exists.
Either way, that's not my point. My point is I'm going to be demonstrating tomorrow with my school, and I'm excited to wave signs around, assuming they give me a sign (they'd be crazy not to -- I bet if I hold up a sign they'll see it from the International Space Station).
The issue, essentially, is this: my school, the Gutenberg Gymnasium, goes from grade 5 to grade 13. Gymnasium is the highest level of school in the German school system for those grades -- it's college track, whereas the other two types are not. As such, most parents want their kids to go to gymnasium, and they're allowed to send their kids to gymnasium if they choose, regardless of any recommendations to the contrary.
Therein lies one problem: the Gutenberg Gymnasium, for example, is designed to take on four new classes each year. For some years now, though I don't know how many years, the school has been over capacity with between five and six new classes coming in each year. I think in return for taking this overflow, my school got a new sport hall (I'd say "gymnasium" but that would get confusing with the name of the school, so I'll stick to the literal German translation) and a sort of auditorium.
Nevertheless, it's easy to see that the school is too full. There aren't enough classrooms, so other rooms not intended for classes have been invaded to make up the difference, and let me tell you, 33 kids in a small room is not ideal.
And now it turns out that -- surprise, surprise -- there is another huge jump in numbers coming. Has the city been preparing by (a) building a new gymnasium, (b) expanding the existing schools, or (c) seeing how far they can spit watermelon seeds? If you picked (a) or (b) then you've never heard of a lumbering mess commonly referred to as "a bureaucracy" (and if you picked (c), I appreciate your cynicism but can't verify it...yet).
So the solution, once again, is to add more classes, particularly to the Gutenberg Gymnasium and one other school. My school is expected to handle seven classes for the next two years, and in return will get some extra classrooms built, or whatever is being vaguely promised. Naturally the teachers, students, and parents are up in arms over this. The most aggravating parts of the deal are that the plan was formed and is close to moving ahead without taking into consideration the voices of the teachers, students, or parents; and that there is still no real plan for the future, meaning there's no way of knowing for sure if this will end after two years. Also, the three directors at the school, who get the only votes for the entire school, said they'll no matter what the teachers, students, and parents think, they'll vote Yes to the plan to have seven classes in return for some additions to the school.
Being the cool-headed negotiator that I am, I suggested a strike. This doesn't affect me, but I'd be so excited to be part of a strike anyway. But that's not allowed: German teachers are state workers, which means that in return for jobs-for-life and good benefits, they don't get any say in what happens. So instead, as I mentioned ages ago at the beginning of this long-winded post, we're demonstrating tomorrow afternoon.
When I was in Freiburg in 2005, I saw but missed out on participating in university student protests against the introduction of tuition. I am not missing out on this protest. I hope I don't get whomped by riot police.
Either way, that's not my point. My point is I'm going to be demonstrating tomorrow with my school, and I'm excited to wave signs around, assuming they give me a sign (they'd be crazy not to -- I bet if I hold up a sign they'll see it from the International Space Station).
The issue, essentially, is this: my school, the Gutenberg Gymnasium, goes from grade 5 to grade 13. Gymnasium is the highest level of school in the German school system for those grades -- it's college track, whereas the other two types are not. As such, most parents want their kids to go to gymnasium, and they're allowed to send their kids to gymnasium if they choose, regardless of any recommendations to the contrary.
Therein lies one problem: the Gutenberg Gymnasium, for example, is designed to take on four new classes each year. For some years now, though I don't know how many years, the school has been over capacity with between five and six new classes coming in each year. I think in return for taking this overflow, my school got a new sport hall (I'd say "gymnasium" but that would get confusing with the name of the school, so I'll stick to the literal German translation) and a sort of auditorium.
Nevertheless, it's easy to see that the school is too full. There aren't enough classrooms, so other rooms not intended for classes have been invaded to make up the difference, and let me tell you, 33 kids in a small room is not ideal.
And now it turns out that -- surprise, surprise -- there is another huge jump in numbers coming. Has the city been preparing by (a) building a new gymnasium, (b) expanding the existing schools, or (c) seeing how far they can spit watermelon seeds? If you picked (a) or (b) then you've never heard of a lumbering mess commonly referred to as "a bureaucracy" (and if you picked (c), I appreciate your cynicism but can't verify it...yet).
So the solution, once again, is to add more classes, particularly to the Gutenberg Gymnasium and one other school. My school is expected to handle seven classes for the next two years, and in return will get some extra classrooms built, or whatever is being vaguely promised. Naturally the teachers, students, and parents are up in arms over this. The most aggravating parts of the deal are that the plan was formed and is close to moving ahead without taking into consideration the voices of the teachers, students, or parents; and that there is still no real plan for the future, meaning there's no way of knowing for sure if this will end after two years. Also, the three directors at the school, who get the only votes for the entire school, said they'll no matter what the teachers, students, and parents think, they'll vote Yes to the plan to have seven classes in return for some additions to the school.
Being the cool-headed negotiator that I am, I suggested a strike. This doesn't affect me, but I'd be so excited to be part of a strike anyway. But that's not allowed: German teachers are state workers, which means that in return for jobs-for-life and good benefits, they don't get any say in what happens. So instead, as I mentioned ages ago at the beginning of this long-winded post, we're demonstrating tomorrow afternoon.
When I was in Freiburg in 2005, I saw but missed out on participating in university student protests against the introduction of tuition. I am not missing out on this protest. I hope I don't get whomped by riot police.
Monday, April 21, 2008
TWO Organs!
That's not the set-up or the punchline to a terrible joke. Actually, that's probably a lie -- somewhere in this world, I have to imagine there's at least one joke involving the exclamation "TWO organs!" But I promise I don't know that joke, and neither is this my attempt at creating a new joke. In fact, two organs is something I experienced on Sunday. Um...okay, it still sounds bad. I'd better just get on with it quickly and try to ignore the numerous puns.
The Mainz College of Music is moving onto the campus of the University of Mainz and they're getting a new organ as part of the deal. They donated their current organ to the Altmuenster church in Mainz, which already had an organ, but a very small one. This donated one is much bigger and nicer, so they moved the old one next to the altar and the donated one is now up above.
On Sunday the church had some special masses to celebrate the advent of two organs; they had a choir and people to play each organ. My supervising teacher, Bettina, and her husband, Gernot, were singing in the choir, which is how I found out about the whole thing. It was a really interesting experience, especially when they did a song that was specifically written for two organs. I'm not sure why you'd ever write a piece of music like that, but then again at the Fulbright conference in Berlin I also saw a guy perform a sweet tuba solo, so I'll just roll with it.
So although I had to go to church for it, it was worth it for some beautiful music and an unusual story. There was even champagne afterwards.
Oh no...I know I promised I wouldn't, but I'm weak. It's just got too much potential for me to not even try:
What's worse than church wine and an organ?
Church champagne and TWO organs!
Sorry you had to witness that. At least we now know for sure there's a joke somewhere in this world involving the exclamation "TWO organs!"
Let this post be ended, and go in peace.
The Mainz College of Music is moving onto the campus of the University of Mainz and they're getting a new organ as part of the deal. They donated their current organ to the Altmuenster church in Mainz, which already had an organ, but a very small one. This donated one is much bigger and nicer, so they moved the old one next to the altar and the donated one is now up above.
On Sunday the church had some special masses to celebrate the advent of two organs; they had a choir and people to play each organ. My supervising teacher, Bettina, and her husband, Gernot, were singing in the choir, which is how I found out about the whole thing. It was a really interesting experience, especially when they did a song that was specifically written for two organs. I'm not sure why you'd ever write a piece of music like that, but then again at the Fulbright conference in Berlin I also saw a guy perform a sweet tuba solo, so I'll just roll with it.
So although I had to go to church for it, it was worth it for some beautiful music and an unusual story. There was even champagne afterwards.
Oh no...I know I promised I wouldn't, but I'm weak. It's just got too much potential for me to not even try:
What's worse than church wine and an organ?
Church champagne and TWO organs!
Sorry you had to witness that. At least we now know for sure there's a joke somewhere in this world involving the exclamation "TWO organs!"
Let this post be ended, and go in peace.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Mainz 05
Mainz 05 is the Mainz soccer team. The 05 stands for 1905, the year they were founded. My friend Flo (link goes to his sport- and surfwear company, No Quality) has gotten me into three of their games so far, including today's. The last time I went, he gave me his normal ticket because he had VIP access. After the game he yanked off his VIP bracelet, and with the aid of some product resembling Post-It Notes, we managed to secure it to my wrist. Secure might not be the right word, since I was afraid to swing that arm when I walked, fearing that the slightest breeze would upset the delicate balance of our scam. Nevertheless, I passed the tight security detail of two women glancing at my bright pink mock-up.
Once inside I let myself relax a little, but I still had to keep adjusting the bracelet so it wouldn't fall off and expose me. If you're wondering at this point what the trouble was worth, VIP means free alcohol and food. It was a heavenly experience soured only slightly by my constant fear of discovery. I limited myself to a couple of bowls of soup and two free beers, as I knew once the booze started flowing more freely I'd let my guard down and the jig would be up. Sorry, now it sounds like I'm complaining about some free food and beer. I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining why I'm not still there.
Today's game was another highlight. The first game I attended I had to leave at halftime and Mainz ended up losing anyway. The second game, the VIP game, Mainz should have won but ended up tying instead. But today, finally, Mainz won, and boy, did they ever win: the final score was 6-1 against Paderborn. Granted, Paderborn is 3rd league and Mainz is 2nd league, and it should have been 6-0 if not for one of the Mainz defenders deciding the game was over even though there were still 15 minutes left, and therefore passing the ball directly to an opponent in front of his own goal. But it was still exhilarating to see Mainz win, and since soccer is normally such a low scoring game, it was awesome to see a blowout. Plus I've learned most of the chants/songs, so I was able to shout myself somewhat hoarse along with the rest of the rowdy crowd. To top it all off, after celebrating with Flo and some other friends afterwards, I have no class tomorrow. I get to sleep in and then search for some cleats for outdoor frisbee.
Once inside I let myself relax a little, but I still had to keep adjusting the bracelet so it wouldn't fall off and expose me. If you're wondering at this point what the trouble was worth, VIP means free alcohol and food. It was a heavenly experience soured only slightly by my constant fear of discovery. I limited myself to a couple of bowls of soup and two free beers, as I knew once the booze started flowing more freely I'd let my guard down and the jig would be up. Sorry, now it sounds like I'm complaining about some free food and beer. I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining why I'm not still there.
Today's game was another highlight. The first game I attended I had to leave at halftime and Mainz ended up losing anyway. The second game, the VIP game, Mainz should have won but ended up tying instead. But today, finally, Mainz won, and boy, did they ever win: the final score was 6-1 against Paderborn. Granted, Paderborn is 3rd league and Mainz is 2nd league, and it should have been 6-0 if not for one of the Mainz defenders deciding the game was over even though there were still 15 minutes left, and therefore passing the ball directly to an opponent in front of his own goal. But it was still exhilarating to see Mainz win, and since soccer is normally such a low scoring game, it was awesome to see a blowout. Plus I've learned most of the chants/songs, so I was able to shout myself somewhat hoarse along with the rest of the rowdy crowd. To top it all off, after celebrating with Flo and some other friends afterwards, I have no class tomorrow. I get to sleep in and then search for some cleats for outdoor frisbee.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Mmm...Bucket Of Lard
Alright, gotta take this slowly, ease back into the whole blog thing with small yet delicious nuggets of information. After more than four months off, I obviously need to post something on here. I probably got too ambitious promising to talk in detail about a week-long trip, so I'll try to get back to some more narrowly focused topics so I don't go crazy.
So here's something from Poland. I went with Ben, Kathryn, and Michaela from Thursday, Apr. 10 to Sunday, Apr. 13. We took a train from Berlin to Warsaw, which took about six hours, stayed there for a night and the next day we took a train to Krakow at around 8 PM. It turned out to be a great trip, beautiful cities that really rebounded after the war -- Warsaw in particular, since it was about 96% destroyed, whereas I think Krakow got off easier -- interesting sights, and many lovely people, both in personality and appearance. This was surprising to us and probably is to everyone else who hasn't been, since the stereotypes of destruction, depression, and terrible fashion haunt many of these eastern European countries. It also helped that the weather was gorgeous, much nicer than in Germany during the same period of time.
While we were surprised to see so many really attractive people, we became even more surprised as we ate at more restaurants. Why? Because when every meal includes lard, you expect to see some lardbutts running -- or lumbering -- along. There were no lardbutts, people. Despite finding lard sprinkled liberally on everything we ate, despite eating a leg of pork in an aspic mold (link goes to a definition), despite being served as a starter some slices of bread with a BUCKET of LARD as a spread (link goes to Kathryn's blog post with pictures of Poland, including Polish food if you scroll down), these Poles were not fat. How do they do it?
Maybe they don't sleep much...that's a good way to lose weight, right? While I was in Poland, I had multiple nightmares each night. I rarely dream anymore, whether good or bad, but on at least two nights I had nightmares which I was able to clearly remember. Since I wasn't doing anything else out of the ordinary, I have to assume that what was fueling my night terrors was the addition of large quantities of pure animal fat to my diet. I'm pretty sure the aspic, which was the first night in Warsaw, started this. If you've never had aspic, the definition I linked to won't do it justice. The horror of forcing this thing down my gullet...Ben tried a bite and refused to chew and swallow it, preferring to spit it in a napkin. I couldn't manage all of it, but half was clearly enough to damage my mind. And while the bucket of lard-spread turned out not to taste like anything as far as we could tell, it definitely was one of the least appetizing buckets I've ever seen.
Don't get me wrong -- most of the food we ate was quite delicious, especially pierogies, and I suppose Polish people don't eat this traditional stuff every meal the way we did. Definitely keep an open mind and try stuff, especially since the most hilarious reactions came from people realizing they needed to get the lard out of their mouths NOW. But don't overdo it unless you packed a night light and a teddy bear.
So here's something from Poland. I went with Ben, Kathryn, and Michaela from Thursday, Apr. 10 to Sunday, Apr. 13. We took a train from Berlin to Warsaw, which took about six hours, stayed there for a night and the next day we took a train to Krakow at around 8 PM. It turned out to be a great trip, beautiful cities that really rebounded after the war -- Warsaw in particular, since it was about 96% destroyed, whereas I think Krakow got off easier -- interesting sights, and many lovely people, both in personality and appearance. This was surprising to us and probably is to everyone else who hasn't been, since the stereotypes of destruction, depression, and terrible fashion haunt many of these eastern European countries. It also helped that the weather was gorgeous, much nicer than in Germany during the same period of time.
While we were surprised to see so many really attractive people, we became even more surprised as we ate at more restaurants. Why? Because when every meal includes lard, you expect to see some lardbutts running -- or lumbering -- along. There were no lardbutts, people. Despite finding lard sprinkled liberally on everything we ate, despite eating a leg of pork in an aspic mold (link goes to a definition), despite being served as a starter some slices of bread with a BUCKET of LARD as a spread (link goes to Kathryn's blog post with pictures of Poland, including Polish food if you scroll down), these Poles were not fat. How do they do it?
Maybe they don't sleep much...that's a good way to lose weight, right? While I was in Poland, I had multiple nightmares each night. I rarely dream anymore, whether good or bad, but on at least two nights I had nightmares which I was able to clearly remember. Since I wasn't doing anything else out of the ordinary, I have to assume that what was fueling my night terrors was the addition of large quantities of pure animal fat to my diet. I'm pretty sure the aspic, which was the first night in Warsaw, started this. If you've never had aspic, the definition I linked to won't do it justice. The horror of forcing this thing down my gullet...Ben tried a bite and refused to chew and swallow it, preferring to spit it in a napkin. I couldn't manage all of it, but half was clearly enough to damage my mind. And while the bucket of lard-spread turned out not to taste like anything as far as we could tell, it definitely was one of the least appetizing buckets I've ever seen.
Don't get me wrong -- most of the food we ate was quite delicious, especially pierogies, and I suppose Polish people don't eat this traditional stuff every meal the way we did. Definitely keep an open mind and try stuff, especially since the most hilarious reactions came from people realizing they needed to get the lard out of their mouths NOW. But don't overdo it unless you packed a night light and a teddy bear.
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