Birthday Cards

I had a good birthday. I got some solid gifts.

I got a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting from Two Fat Cats Bakery. My dad noted admiringly, "It tastes like a giant Funny Bone." True. A giant, delicious, handmade Funny Bone. I didn't put it in the fridge like last time, either.

I had some delicious, low-carbonation craft beers with friends at Gritty's. I hate carbonation.

I avoided all the storms while biking.

And best of all, I got some awesome handmade cards. Here's the card my sister made me (don't forget to click images to embiggen them and read the fine print):
My mom made me Ninja Turtles cakes when I was young, but I never got a "totally rad birthday 'za." Probably for the best.

My sister said she deliberately hid the hands and feet here since those are the features that give her the most trouble. I pointed out that that's true of professional comics artists, as well. Either way, she did a nice, subtle job of hiding the deformed extremities. I rate this card Totally Tubular, dude.

For purposes of comparison, here's a card I made for Stasia's birthday last year:

Sorry if that made you spill your coffee or gave you nightmares. Hopefully it's large enough that you can read the text, since that's much better than the image. I like the card in general, but I don't know what I was thinking when I drew that crazy-eyed close-up. I'll have to redo it with my improved mspainting skills, so as not to pervert the minds of innocents.

And here's a simply incredible card Stasia drew by hand and held up to her webcam so I could see it:

Whale done. (If you don't get that joke, try saying it the way Stasia would now: with a British accent. {And if you don't like that joke, kiss my blowhole.})

Velocipede

On Thursday the weather got nice. Remember that? It feels like a lifetime ago.

Though I love to bike, filling tires is about as far as my limited bike-care ability goes. So I hauled my bike out of the shed, stomped on the rickety foot pump about 800 times, and finally got the proper PSI of air into my tires. Then I put my slightly less limited bike-knowledge and deductive skills to good use and assessed the chain as "too dry." Considering the bike sat in the shed for over two years, I felt confident in my assessment. Dry chain = bad.

I've seen a chain lubed before and I figured with a combination of spotty memory and BicycleTutor.com I could take that major step and lube my own chain, thereby doubling my practical bike skills. I know where the rags are and I know where the stuff like WD40 is. So far so good! Is WD40 kosher, though? Thankfully I looked it up. Turns out WD40 strips stuff from metal, which means it's great for cleaning off gunk and rust but won't make the chain any less dry when you're through. I'd have to take my search on the road.

Since there are no bike shops in sleepy little South Portland, I went to the hardware store. I found some Tri-Flow, which seemed like a possibility, but I realized if I didn't want to waste my money on the wrong product and risk ruining my chain, I'd better get some actual bike advice from an actual bike shop. These flashes of insight just strike me sometimes; I can't explain them.

Next blind spot in my knowledge: what bike shop to go to. There are about six in Portland but I've only ever been to CycleMania, and I wasn't 100% satisfied with the last tune-up I got there, so I started searching. There wasn't much feedback online to guide me until I spotted a little gem called Portland Velocipede. If the name alone weren't enough of a draw, there were multiple glowing reviews on the google maps site, it was the closest shop on my route, it had an amazing logo, and it focused on retro, solid-steel-on-wheels, European-style city cycles. I tend to ride sporty bikes but you know I appreciate a good European-style cycle, perfect not only for cruising but also for convincing your non-biker friends to go cruising.


I didn't make it to Portland Velocipede on Thursday, though, so my bike ride had to wait.

On Friday, the weather got NICE. Remember that? It feels like a lifetime ago.

As we hit a record high temperature of 67 degrees Fahrenheit, my bike ride could no longer wait, car or no car, lube or no lube. In shorts, t-shirt, and sunglasses I braved the Casco Bay Bridge for my first time ever. What a terrible choice! The wind was unusually strong, enough to give cars some trouble, which meant I was nearly blown off the bridge. While trying to breathe in as little dust as possible in the intense sandstorm, I wished for the first time that my bike were as heavy as some of those European cruisers.

It was worth it, ultimately. I can't say enough good about Gillian and Josh, the owners of Portland Velocipede. They've got a great attitude, a great shop, and great customer service. Josh put some lube on my chain before I even bought anything and after I had talked their ears off for a while. Josh explained all kinds of technical stuff, Gillian told me all about the shop and the wares, Josh measured my chain to make sure it was still in good condition (it is, somehow, despite my utter lack of care), and I had an excellent time hanging out.

I bought some Chainj lube (top notch quality; not the number one in pure lube power but certainly number one in bio-degradable lube power, according to Josh). I left my Chainj on the counter while joking about the change purse in my European-style wallet (I lost my American-style one with everything in it last weekend). I returned sheepishly the next day and picked up my Chainj.

Bottom line: check out Portland Velocipede, even if you prefer your ride more sporty than European. They've been around for a year and should stick around for many more. They're good people doing good work, offering good advice, and fostering good community. And like at Two Fat Cats Bakery, the main area is completely open so it feels welcoming and you can see all that's going on, which in the case of Portland Velocipede involves less baking and more bike tuning, which is cool in its own way if not strictly edible.

Where's Munich?

As with Miller-McCune, I had never before heard of The Ecologist, "the world's leading environmental affairs magazine" according to its About Us section. Via And Dutch I just came across The Ecologist's list of "Top 10...Euro cities to cycle".

I skimmed the list, awaiting glowing praise for Munich along the lines of "flat city perfect for those of all skill levels and bike types; wide, well-kept bike paths between the street and the sidewalk on nearly every street; gorgeous scenery whether you're headed to the local bar or cruising along the river Isar on your way to a monastery or out-of-the-way Biergarten; safe, flourishing bike culture overall."

I don't see Munich. Where's Munich? Wait a second, don't tell me...

LONDON?

And no Munich? You can't be serious.

I've only lived in a few European cities and I've only visited half of the ones on this list, but four months of living in and one month of biking in London is enough for me to guarantee you it doesn't belong on this list, even less so when Munich didn't make the cut. London has a dearth of bike lanes (aside from "suggested" ones that run in the street), the ballyhooed Boris Bikes rental system is still in its infancy (it might have opened for the general public by now...), and the bike "superhighways" are about 20% complete.

Even if you've never been to London, tell me what feeling you get from reading the first few lines of its description:

Why it’s great: Cycling in London used to be pretty dreadful thanks to an unfortunate combination of rain and aggressive drivers but since the first two Barclays Cycle Superhighways launched last summer, things have become a little easier.

So in a section about why it's "great," London is hailed as having made the leap from "pretty dreadful" to..."a little easier"? Thanks for the tip, Ecologist! I can't wait to be ground into the rain-slicked pavement by aggressive drivers!

As a matter of fact, based on The Ecologist's descriptions alone, you get the sense that some of these cities are not like the others, some of these cities just don't belong. Here are some delightful excerpts from the section on Paris: "many hazards...infamously crazy drivers...vehicular terrors are best avoided...." Wow, 1 Euro for an unlimited day pass of 30 minute journeys sounds steeper if my Paris life expectancy is only 5 minutes. If I die, do they pro-rate the fee? No? Merde.

If you don't like Munich, fine, don't put it on your "Top ten favorite Euro Cities" list, but it deserves to be on a list of top Euro-cycle Cities. Otherwise maybe the list should have been called "Top 10...Euro Cities we think are neat to go sightseeing in, like that one with that big Tower and the one where they drive on the wrong side, and maybe you should try it on a bike if you can find one, 'cause we hear some people are doin' that these days, and maybe they're a little cheaper and more ubiquitous than they used to be, and we're an eco-magazine so, hey, green!"

But I guess it'd be hard to sneak that one by your editor.