I Sell Comics!

The sun was shining until almost 7pm today. That plus my recent 100th post calls for a celebration. It's time for the unveiling of a new monkey picture:

Could we be entering a new Gorilla Age of Comics here? Only time will tell. But if so, I've got our t-shirt image ready.

Pesto Change-o!

I hadn't even realized, but the previous post was my 100th. Does that qualify me as "prolific"? If I had known I was reaching such a milestone, I probably would have drawn a crazy monkey picture to celebrate, because that's really my bread-and-butter. I should get my dad to guest-blog to explain the gorilla-comics phenomenon in more detail, but for now suffice it to say I'm like DC Comics: I find my product makes a bigger splash when it's got a monkey attached.

...

Hello again; are you done learning about the "Gorilla Age of Comics" and enjoying each and every brilliant Perry Bible Fellowship comic? No? Take your time, I'll just be here drawing monkey-fueled disasters (I bet they're behind that situation in Japan).

Okay, enough of that. Assemble!

As suggested by the punny title, I came here to talk about pesto. The green stuff, made from basil, is great; the red stuff, with sun-dried tomatoes added to the mix and sometimes called "pesto rosso," is even better. I'm pretty new to the pesto scene. I've never made it myself since, in the mere couple of years I've really been aware of pesto, I've never had a food processor nor a surplus of fresh basil (I'm still waiting for the invitation to Casa de Drew Lafiandra to try their homemade pesto).

So, not surprisingly, I've still got a lot to learn about the delicious, herby stuff. It has come to my attention that pesto can be more than just "basil, with or without sun-dried tomatoes" An article at rodale.com has the scoop:

"At its most traditional, Italian pesto is made from fresh basil leaves, olive oil, Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, and raw pine nuts, all of which are ground to a smooth paste in a mortar and pestle (in fact, the word "pesto" comes from the verb 'pestare,' which means 'to crush,' as with a pestle). But with modern preparation methods (food processor!) and a little creativity, you can make pesto from just about any herb or green veggie (alone or in combinations), along with oil, some sort of nut (raw or roasted), some sort of cheese, and garlic or some other seasoning."

So many pestos (pestoes?). One of the best reasons for making it is so extra herbs/greens you have don't go bad on you, which can happen quickly. Pesto keeps well, especially with all that delicious, preserving oil, and the article suggests you "freeze it in an ice cube tray and pop the frozen cubes into an airtight container. Drop a cube or two into soup for a flavor lift, or thaw and toss with hot pasta for a quick meal."

I don't use ice cubes unless I'm drinking whiskey -- even then I only need two rocks -- so chalk this up as a second reason for me to have an ice cube tray in the freezer (in my theoretical future-freezer). I just need to make sure I don't confuse the ice cubes. I'll try a lot of things, but pesto-whiskey isn't on the list...yet.

Anybody ever tried other kinds of pesto, either bought or homemade?

One Little Monkey, Fishing In A Stream

I try to find time to blog about non-monkey related issues, but ever since this threat was made clear to me, I can't help but spread the word when new secrets of the monkey revolt are uncovered.

The latest monkey business to fear? Monkey anglers: "Scientists find monkeys who know how to fish." According to a couple of scientists, "'[This behavior is] an indication of how little we know about the species'" and "'If you provide them with an opportunity to get something tasty, they will do their best to get it.'" A species, about which we know very little, willing to do whatever it takes to get something tasty? If you're still willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe you'd better take a look at another skill monkeys have been cultivating in their tree houses:

I bet they're already better cooks than the British.

Oh, and just in case Robochimps with a taste for human meat aren't enough for you, take a look at one last passage from the article: "[Fuentes] said it affirms his belief that their ability to thrive in urban and rural environments from Indonesia to northern Thailand could offer lessons for endangered species." When these lint-pickers pass on cooking lessons to other species, we will be overrun. Our bacon is literally and figuratively fried if we don't act quickly.

Monkey Defense

Recently, I blogged about the gravest yet coolest metallic threat to humanity since Mechagodzilla: Robochimps (small wonder then that "the first Mechagodzilla was created as a weapon of destruction by a race of ape-like aliens, sometimes known as Simians or the Black Hole aliens [emphasis added]"). After the horrifying video and my particularly chilling artist's rendering of the likely fate of the human race, you were all ready to swallow your cyanide pills and take your chances with an angry God.

Well, not ALL of you. Having been burned before by monkey-transmitted diseases, those troopers on the front line in Africa have turned the tables: "Humans Likely Making Chimps Sick."

As very few of you probably know, one of my dreams is to be a zeppelin pilot, which, while ridiculous, is feasible, considering they're still flown near Lake Constance in Germany. In case that isn't enough to convince you, I present another article as Exhibit B: "Could Zeppelins airships soon be gracing our skies again?" Through my staggering powers of deduction, I can tell you that the answer to that question is a resounding "YES." Rather than use my words, I will again resort to an infinitely more useful and amusing crudely drawn explanation:

Too many robochimps, not enough zeppelins?
Problem solved.

Robochimp

You have to see this, if only to prepare for the worst: Monkey's Brain Controls Robot Arm.

The phrase, "Monkeys have been able to control robotic limbs using only their thoughts, scientists report," is simultaneously the RADDEST and most FRIGHTENING thing I've ever heard (and subsequently seen: for some reason I couldn't view the video on the BBC site, so I googled one and believe you me, it will blow your feeble human mind).

If Cyborg Monkeys don't upset and/or excite you, you have no soul. While I support the concept of Cyborg Monkeys with every ounce of my being in theory, this is absolutely not the way to retain our spot at the top of the food chain. Sure, right now maybe they're only "able to use the robot arm to feed themselves treats," but what about when they crave more? What about when one "marshmallow" or a couple of "chunks of fruit" every 20 seconds no longer satisfies them? WHAT THEN?

Oh, I think you know what then:

Then they build little flying saucers and rocket launchers and ENSLAVE us. I always wanted to deliver giant bananas at rocket-point, wearing nothing but chains, to Cyborg Monkeys. Yeah, thanks a lot, science.