Robochimp

You have to see this, if only to prepare for the worst: Monkey's Brain Controls Robot Arm.

The phrase, "Monkeys have been able to control robotic limbs using only their thoughts, scientists report," is simultaneously the RADDEST and most FRIGHTENING thing I've ever heard (and subsequently seen: for some reason I couldn't view the video on the BBC site, so I googled one and believe you me, it will blow your feeble human mind).

If Cyborg Monkeys don't upset and/or excite you, you have no soul. While I support the concept of Cyborg Monkeys with every ounce of my being in theory, this is absolutely not the way to retain our spot at the top of the food chain. Sure, right now maybe they're only "able to use the robot arm to feed themselves treats," but what about when they crave more? What about when one "marshmallow" or a couple of "chunks of fruit" every 20 seconds no longer satisfies them? WHAT THEN?

Oh, I think you know what then:

Then they build little flying saucers and rocket launchers and ENSLAVE us. I always wanted to deliver giant bananas at rocket-point, wearing nothing but chains, to Cyborg Monkeys. Yeah, thanks a lot, science.