Bawk

Call me a chicken, but I don't need a realistic painting of a rooster's face. That's what greeted me in some gallery window in Portland today, though, as I walked with my parents and the dog down Congress St. to the farmer's market in Monument Square. In fact, there were multiple of these paintings, and I think there were some angry hen faces thrown in for good measure, too. Close-ups of angry fowl faces set against deep red backdrops. Who likes that?

I love chickens and roosters, and I love how they look in general (to say nothing of the way they taste!). But when you get right down to it, they have some scary faces, and roosters, considering they're typically angry for real and they've got blood-red flesh hanging all over their faces, are not what you want eyeing you in enlarged form. Need I remind you, or the featured gallery artist from earlier, that chickens are descended from RAPTORS? You do not want to be given the evil eye by that dinosaur nor by its descendent.

Watch out, here comes a demonstrative example now!

Mardi Gras Rooster by Lexi Sundell [via RiverStone Gallery]

Sorry to come at you like that, but points had to be proven: That rooster up there sees you, man, and he does not like what he sees. Not fun, right? Keep in mind, that is not the painting I saw in Portland and is only about half as intense. If I have a chicken painting, I want it zoomed out a little bit. Remind me that this creature has more attractive parts than its bizarre face. At the very least, remind me it's just a small dinosaur descendent, despite the intense glare and the sharp talons.

And, frankly, if you're gonna be stared down by a farm animal, wouldn't you rather it be cartoony, adorable, a little abstract, and downright civilized, like this guy I just whipped up?