We're Here, We're Queer, We Don't Want Any More Bears!

If I hold up a sign tomorrow with that slogan on it, do you think the Germans will get the Simpsons reference? Probably not, and then they'll be torn over the message -- "'Queer'? 'bears'? well wait just a minute here." In fact Germans seem to want more polar bears but fewer brown bears. Maybe they just want their bears carefully stored in zoos. Pfft. Ask Poland how bears should be handled: they should have open air enclosures by the side of busy streets in the middle of a city like Warsaw with only a waterless moat separating them from sweet, sweet human flesh. Yes, that exists.

Either way, that's not my point. My point is I'm going to be demonstrating tomorrow with my school, and I'm excited to wave signs around, assuming they give me a sign (they'd be crazy not to -- I bet if I hold up a sign they'll see it from the International Space Station).

The issue, essentially, is this: my school, the Gutenberg Gymnasium, goes from grade 5 to grade 13. Gymnasium is the highest level of school in the German school system for those grades -- it's college track, whereas the other two types are not. As such, most parents want their kids to go to gymnasium, and they're allowed to send their kids to gymnasium if they choose, regardless of any recommendations to the contrary.

Therein lies one problem: the Gutenberg Gymnasium, for example, is designed to take on four new classes each year. For some years now, though I don't know how many years, the school has been over capacity with between five and six new classes coming in each year. I think in return for taking this overflow, my school got a new sport hall (I'd say "gymnasium" but that would get confusing with the name of the school, so I'll stick to the literal German translation) and a sort of auditorium.

Nevertheless, it's easy to see that the school is too full. There aren't enough classrooms, so other rooms not intended for classes have been invaded to make up the difference, and let me tell you, 33 kids in a small room is not ideal.

And now it turns out that -- surprise, surprise -- there is another huge jump in numbers coming. Has the city been preparing by (a) building a new gymnasium, (b) expanding the existing schools, or (c) seeing how far they can spit watermelon seeds? If you picked (a) or (b) then you've never heard of a lumbering mess commonly referred to as "a bureaucracy" (and if you picked (c), I appreciate your cynicism but can't verify it...yet).

So the solution, once again, is to add more classes, particularly to the Gutenberg Gymnasium and one other school. My school is expected to handle seven classes for the next two years, and in return will get some extra classrooms built, or whatever is being vaguely promised. Naturally the teachers, students, and parents are up in arms over this. The most aggravating parts of the deal are that the plan was formed and is close to moving ahead without taking into consideration the voices of the teachers, students, or parents; and that there is still no real plan for the future, meaning there's no way of knowing for sure if this will end after two years. Also, the three directors at the school, who get the only votes for the entire school, said they'll no matter what the teachers, students, and parents think, they'll vote Yes to the plan to have seven classes in return for some additions to the school.

Being the cool-headed negotiator that I am, I suggested a strike. This doesn't affect me, but I'd be so excited to be part of a strike anyway. But that's not allowed: German teachers are state workers, which means that in return for jobs-for-life and good benefits, they don't get any say in what happens. So instead, as I mentioned ages ago at the beginning of this long-winded post, we're demonstrating tomorrow afternoon.

When I was in Freiburg in 2005, I saw but missed out on participating in university student protests against the introduction of tuition. I am not missing out on this protest. I hope I don't get whomped by riot police.