Kentucky Fried Nonsense

This article, "Legislators Hear Global Warming Disputed," well...frankly, words escape me. But I'll try to recapture the words necessary to discuss the sheer absurdity of the events describe in said article. In a very brief summary, there was a "hearing" organized by a Kentucky Democrat who apparently lives in Big Coal's pocket. I say "hearing" because only two panelists were invited to speak, both of which were hand-picked by this Democ-rat to explain why Global Warming is baloney. Even worse, this Democrat, Jim Gooch (how can you vote for a man whose name clearly defies any classification as intelligent?)...well, I'm going to cite passages from the article so you can just see for yourself, and hopefully you'll see that you should read the entire thing. Here are a very telling few paragraphs:

"Chairman Jim Gooch, D-Providence, a longtime ally of the coal industry, said he purposefully did not invite anyone who believes in global warming to testify.

'You can only hear that the sky is falling so many times,' said Gooch, whose post makes him the House Democrats' chief environmental strategist. 'We hear it every day from the news media, from the colleges, from Hollywood.'

Neither of Gooch's invited panelists was a scientist."

Wow, yes, Gooch, you're absolutely right: hearing about problems is a serious annoyance. Especially from those stupid scientists -- what have they ever done for us anyway? Instead, let's find some corporate sponsored goons to tell us lies. Everyone trusts corporate sponsored goons. Don't you feel better already? It's fun to play pretend, whether it's pretending WMDs do exist or pretending Global Warming doesn't.

Seriously, can't we just keep the scientists out of this? They're such buzzkills, and they still haven't invented a pill that can make Jim Gooch attractive to the opposite sex (see the picture in the article, please), so why would they be included?

"'It really wasn't my intention to get into so much science today,' Gooch replied."

Plus, don't even jump to the conclusion that this is some kind of purposely one-sided defense of Big Coal companies for Jim Gooch's personal gain, or that Jim Gooch really hates scientists, because that is far from the truth:

"'Well, I mean, where are we going to get scientists?' Gooch asked. 'We're limited here in Kentucky to what we can do. I don't know how we'd necessarily get scientists to come here.'"

Clearly, the truth is that Kentucky is devoid of scientists. And are you surprised by that? I didn't think so. I suggest an emergency air drop of scientists to help Kentucky through this rough period in its development as a democratic nation. Or at least some Intelligent Design pamphlets, anything's better than their current situation.

But seriously, I find the anti-Global Warming movement incredible mostly because I haven't heard a single good argument as to why we should act as if Global Warming doesn't exist. Even if Global Warming is baloney, it's worth the lie if it gets us to develop clean, renewable energy and to help the rest of the world deal with crises of environment, too...or at least, I used to think that way. Until my eyes were opened by one of Jim Gooch's "experts":

"Similarly, Taylor said most scientists don't believe in global warming. Not that warming is bad, he said. Hotter weather means more vegetation and crops and more diversity of wildlife, as in the tropical rain forests, he said. He distributed a report that urged Americans to burn more coal, oil and natural gas so 'our children will therefore enjoy an Earth with far more plant and animal life than that with which we now are blessed.'"

Do you understand now why this article robbed me of speech? This is one of the most ludicrous yet insidious advertisements for evil since somebody started telling Arab men, "Yup, that's all there is to it, just run into the food court, call for a group hug, press this button, and then you'll spend the rest of eternity high-fiving Allah while virgins pleasure you." Not only are these people trying to deny that Global Warming exists, they're trying at the same time to convince us that we need to burn MORE fossil fuels. Didn't the smoking industry try this a few decades ago? I mean, it sounds too stupid to work, but somebody will obviously buy into it. Somebody always buys into it.